


Just you

by The_GarbageWillDo



Series: Balance [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben is a space emo, Building trust, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, FO uniform is only hot on Rey, Faking Death, Hux because Hux, Hux gets what he deserved, Okay maybe I won’t kill Hux, Really? - Freeform, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey look pretty nice in a black sweater, Reylo - Freeform, Running Away, Some Fluff, Sorry about my typos…, Space idiots, TROS didn’t him wrong as well..., Trust Issues, chill ben, hux is a jerk, i don’t think he was looking for a platonic relationship..., i have an awful feeling about this, idiots to lovers, just roll with me here…, rey is oblivious, slowish burn, someone spell thins out for her!, stormtroopers are stupid sometimes…, what even are tags?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 22,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_GarbageWillDo/pseuds/The_GarbageWillDo
Summary: Warning: I am totally rubbish when it comes to summarizing things*Alternative ending to the throne room scene where they decided to just leave it all behind. Naturally, as per Star Wars theme, there are complications along the way…This work will have at least two parts to it in the form of two separate works…Any whoooo…
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Balance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031823
Comments: 77
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

Neither of them really knew how to move forward from this point. Ben, had just killedSnoke, in order to save Rey’s life, but she wasn’t sure if he had done it to save her, or if he had seen an opportunity, and he chose to take it, or maybe it was both. She supposed he would be the new supreme leader of the First Order, and deep down, after he had asked her to join him,she knew ultimately, that that was what he wanted. What she didn’t know, was what he wanted her for. was it simply because of her power, their dyad, or did he actually want her. He was offering her the entire galaxy. He told her that unlike her parents, she actually meant, something to him, but she knew that the moment he had told her she wasn’t alone. 

She had come to the conclusion that he didn’t just want her for her power, he wanted her, for her, but she didn’t want him, not like this. She wanted Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Which despite her efforts, Ben, was still unreachable, and it didn’t surprise her one bit that he had no interest in helping her or the resistance.

It did however, slightly come as an unexpected turn of events when he asked her to join him, and this is where they were now. His hand reached out to her begging, no pleading for her to take it, for her to join him, to rule by his side. This left her with a choice, she could take his hand, which she really wanted to do, only, she had hoped it would be  Bens  hand, or she could leave him there, thinking that she rejected him because she didn’t care for him and return to the resistance. Assuming they actually survived, assuming that  she herself  survived.

They stood there, staring at each other for what felt like an eternity, in complete silence, save for the sound of her footsteps that echoed off of the burning walls as she took three steps forward carefully weighing her options in her head. Ben standing completely still, barely breathing, as if he was afraid that the wrong movement would scare her away. She knew he had the upper hand in this situation, he was holding all of the cards, as well as all of the weapons. She stopped once she was about ten steps away, and waited to see if he would do anything, and when he didn’t, she decided that she should speak. 

“You know I don’t want this Ben.” She took two more steps, leaving about seven more, but now she was only inches from his outstretched hand, the hand which she so desperately wanted to take.

“Then what do you want Rey.” He expected her to tell him to join the resistance, to yell at him, try to attack him, but she didn’t. She took his hand with both of her own, carefully taking his gloves off, so that theirs hands could actually touch, and looked at him in a way that felt as if she were looking into his very soul. A look that kept him rooted right where he was 

“I want you Ben, just—you.” He was taken aback by her unexpected response, so much so, that he almost forgot to breathe. She wasn’t saying no because she didn’t want him, she was saying no because, she didn’t want  this.  She didn’t want the entire galaxy, she just wanted, him. He turned away with her hands still holding onto his and thought about her words for a moment, anxiously raking his fingers through his hair. thought of a way that it could actually be a possibility. 

“It’s not possible…” he trailed off at the end when he looked back and caught sight of her face, felt her grasp on his hands loosening, he could already see her running away, finding some way to escape, and hating him forever, and never looking back. He knew exactly what her words meant, she was asking him to leave with her, to runaway and never look back, an offer she would probably never give again. 

“It is.” She sounded so sure of this, that it could actually work, and maybe it could. 

“Okay.” It can work, it will work somehow. A weak smile briefly graced her lips, before she let go of his hand to wrap her arms around him, and burry her face in his chest. The action shocked him at first, but Ben quickly matched the gesture. They stayed like that for several moments, and it felt perfect, right, comforting even, which is an odd feeling to have wrapped in the arms of your enemy. They would have stayed like that forever if it was possible, but sound of the turbo lift doors opening brought them back to reality. 

“Ben?” It was half question, half statement, but the look of horror on her face said it all. There wasn’t exactly anywhere for her to hide. Either way one of them dies, or both of them die.

“Do you trust me?” She nodded. He ignited Luke’s saber, and stabbed her in her side, not too deep, but deep enough to make her look like she had been killed, or is at least near death. She fell to the ground only to be picked up by him. And hearing him whisper “Be still. No matter what you hear, be still. Please.” 

When he turned around he found a paler than usual Hux standing near Snoks split corps. 

“What—happened?” He spat in his usually obnoxious tone while turning to look at him, with his usual smug expression which was quickly wiped away as he turned even paler when he realized what, or rather who he was carrying. 

“Snoke, is dead.” 

“I can see that!” He marched over to him, regaining some of what little color he has. 

“But  how , is he dead?”

“She killed him.” 

“The girl, killed the supreme leader, by herself, and all of his guards as well?” He raised an eyebrow. “And where were you, why didn’t you stop her?” 

“I did, but it was already too late. It appears I underestimated her power.” He replied in a stiff tone as he glanced around at the gruesome scene put on display all around them.

“I see, and where are you taking her?” 

“She’s still alive, I’m am going to try and get any information I can from her, before I,” He looked down at her with a fake look of disgust. “dispose of this murdering scavenger.” 

“Very well, and what about the supreme leader?” 

“I, am now the supreme leader, and as such, I suggest you stop questioning me, and my decisions!” He took on a more severe tone, and at that, the man shrunk for a moment, before regaining his posture. 

“It appears that the remaining rebels, have made there way to a planet named Crait. How are we to move forward? 

“Crait? I’ve been there before, there’s an old resistance base there, from the days of the empire. Deploy a strike team, they could either have a fully stocked armory, or nothing at all. I suggest, you don’t prepare for 

“Very well sir.” He forced out in the fakest voice he had ever heard. and as soon as he did, he made his way to the lift. 


	2. Come back Solo

Once on the lift, Rey was finally able to address the searing pain that she was in. Shepressed her hand on the wound in her side, only flinching slightly. Ben was seemingly too busy to notice; lost in thought no doubt.

“I’m sure that there were many alternatives to stabbing me.” 

“It would have looked suspicious if you weren’t injured.”

“You could have just done that thing that knocks people out.” 

“No I’m not doing that to you again, and besides, needed you to be awake and aware of what was going on, Incase something happened.” 

“You could have killed me!” She felt her side again, hoping that there had been some improvement from a few seconds ago.

“Well I didn’t, and you need to be quiet, you’re supposed to be dying remember?” Stopping as soon as the door opened to reveal a thankfully empty corridor. 

Every time he turned a corner Rey half expected a group of stormtroopers to be waiting for them once that obnoxious squeaky voiced man figured out what had really happened. Much to her relief, there weren’t any. 

The pain in her side was getting worse now that he was making her walk, and if they didn’t get to where ever they were going she felt like she would pass out and die in the hallway. Maybe this was his plan to keep walking around until she died. If it wasn’t for the heat of the blade cauterizing the hole in her side she probably would have bled out by now.

“Where are we going?” She asked with a slight hint of annoyance.

“Far away, where you’ll be safer for now, anyone that doesn’t have a death wish won’t come back here.”

“If I die, I’m going to figure out how to come back has a ghost and bother you for the rest of your life.” She mumbled under her breath.

“If you died—” he stopped walking so abruptly that she almost slammed into his back. “If you died, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.” Without another word he continued walking; the meaning of his words causing a knot to tie in her stomach.

After what seemed like a decade of walking they finally reached a door. After punching in more numbers than she cared to count on a keypad, the door easily slid open to a room which she assumed was his private chambers. Thatwould explain why anyone that didn’t have a death wish wouldn’t come back here. Once they were both inside the door shut behind them rather loudly making her look back only to realize that there was another keypad, she quickly regretted not paying attention earlier. 

“If it makes you feel that uncomfortable, I can give you the code. Although I don’t suggest leaving.” He informed her as if he was able to sense her anxiety about it.

“It’s—uh, I’m fine.” Was all she managed to get out as she turned around not wanting to admit that she wanted to be able to run the second she sensed danger. She was now facing a disappointed and slightly hurt looking man. 

“You can sit there, and wait, I’ll be back.” He pointed to a chair which’s he gladly sat down in before disappearing through one of the other doors inside the room. 

Now finally able to assess her injury she decided it wasn’t really as bad as it felt she had sustained worse ones falling from crumbling wreckage on Jakku. She was just about to take a piece of fabric from her clothing to wrap around herself when Ben returned looking at her inquisitively until he realized what she was doing and stopped her. 

“Why are you doing that?” Did she really think he was going to just leave her there to fix it herself?

“What do you mean?” She looked at him confused momentarily removing the piece of fabric that she had clamped between her teeth, watching as he held something up which she identified as bacta patches. The fact that they were for her hadn’t clicked so, quickly resumed her previous task of ripping a piece of cloth.

“Stop, Rey.” He knelt down by the side of the chair as he grasped gently both of her hands with his own. “You don’t need to do that.” His voice was soft and gentle, the same tone as when he told her she wasn’t alone. 

The piece of fabric was still in griped between her teeth, making her look like an animal carrying its prize home for dinner. He reached up to take it from her. She watched him completely enamored by this man who everyone was terrified of kneeling in front of her like a boy who had finally found something he had been looking for his entire life, and now that he had found it he wanted to keep it safe at all cost. Despite that though she still didn’t fully trust him, they had a long ways to go before she could do that , before she could actually feel safe and let her guard down some. None of which could she do until they left, she had been told that there was light all around her, but other than her and Ben it it was complete darkness here. It wasn’t until she felt his hand on her side near the cut that she was pulled from her thoughts, jumping as close to the other side of the chair as physically possible. 

“What are you doing?” She asked from her perch, half on the arm of the chair.

“I was going to cover that up.” He motioned at her wound. “You’re bleeding!” He grabbed something and press it to her side before she had time to look or object to what he was doing. He got something else like the first thing that he still had press against her and poured something on it he removed the first one and she could now see that she was in fact bleeding. Before he could do anything else she covered her side as he brought the other tissue towards her. She looked at it with suspicion, he wouldn’t try to poison her, would he? When she looked up he was frowning at her looking even more hurt than he had earlier.

“You still don’t trust me.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“I—I don’t know.” 

He set down the suspicious item and took her free had with both of his.

“You will never know, unless you try. I am, but I need you to meet me at least a quarter of the way.” He watched her and waited for what seemed like an eternity when she finally nodded slowly, moving her hand and repositioning to a less awkward angle so that he could finish finish. 

It was an odd this, watching someone fret over her like this her whole life she had taken care of herself. There was no one who cared on Jakku, she could have died and no one would have batted an eyelash, and she tried not to be a burden for the resistance and just tended to her injuries or her own. Even when someone did help her they never put as much time, effort, and care into it as he was. 

“I suppose we’re even now?” He had been so gentle about it that she barely felt a thing and therefore didn’t know that he had finished until he said that. 

“I suppose, only difference is I didn’t fix yours…” she trailed off at the end and looked away.

“What’s is it, Rey?” She turned back around as he said her name. Reaching out to trace the line of the scar that she had given him. He leaned into the touch closing his eyes and her hand moved to cup the side of his cheek. 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“No.” He shook his head and took her hand into both of his again. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This—” he let go of her hand briefly to point at his scar. “This is the least that I deserve. This used to rule my hatred towards you, but now it’s reminder that you could have killed, and if you hadn’t given it to me, Snoke might have never seen you as a threat, meaning we might have never had this connection, and we wouldn’t be here right now because you wouldn’t have come here. So don’t apologize for it.”She nodded slowly, processing what he had just said. 

He slowly released her hand as he stood up and made his way to the door.

“Where are you going?” She got up and walked over closer to him.

“We left a questionable looking mess up stairs, and I’m the only whiteness that isn’t dead or an enemy. I’ve also taken the title of supreme leader. I’ll be fine.” 

“You better come back to me Ben Solo!” She rushed forward, and wrapped her arms around him. He knew she was trying to be as positive as possible, but he didn’t need to be force sensitive to know that she was screaming  “please don’t go!” on the inside. 

“I promise I’ll come back.” She let go of him, but he still kept his arms loosely around her as he gave her a string of numbers that she immediately memorized even though she didn’t know what they meant.

“What is that for?” 

“The door. I told you I’d give you the code. Just promise me you will stay in here and just make yourself at home. Until things calm down enough for us to leave, it will be.” 

“Okay.” She hugged him one last time before he left, she knew if he didn’t come back that she was as good as dead. Despite that, there was still a feeling of hope, not the same hope she had gone looking for, no this hope belonged to her, not entire group. If she had gone back to the resistance she would have been happy, but she wouldn’t have felt like she belonged, maybe with Ben, she would finally have that but that would all depend on weather or not he came back.


	3. Hours

She had been sitting and waiting by the door for at least three hours not including the hour that she spent looking around before she got cold commandeered a blanket and huddled in the chair she had been sitting in earlier which she had moved so that it was facing the door. Another hour, that makes for a total of five, and she could no longer feel her legs, a few minutes ago she thought she heard footsteps but if she actually had, they weren’t Bens. It had been nearly six hours when she couldn’t sit still any longer and got up and stared at the keypad for about the hundredth time before untimely returning to her chair again at what was now officially six hours. Halfway the the seventh hour she fell asleep just as Ben was returning. The second she heard the door open she jumped up in her chair in attack mode ready to tear someone’s head off if it was anyone other than Ben. 

“Have you been sit—“ he stopped mid sentence as Rey crash into him with such force that it knocked the wind out of him. 

“You we’re gone for so long, I was worried.” She said wrapping her arms around him tighter. 

It had been a long time since Ben had someone worrying about him, not because they were worried he was going to do something bad, but because they were actually worried about him and weather or not he was okay. 

“Did you sit there the whole time?” 

“No, I looked around first, but it’s freezing in here so I got a blanket and sat there, occasionally getting up to stare at the keypad in vain.”She rambled off as she let go of him and return to her chair.

She watched him walk over to the other side of the room and sit down in a different chair in a dark corner. When he came back, he seemed happy to see her but now he was doing what she assumed he normally did, sit in empty silence. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what. So she just sat there and watched him. It was as if she wasn’t even there. 

There were several minutes of silence and Rey was beginning to doze off again when she herd him get up go into one of the other rooms a close the door behind him.A few minutes later, he emerged wearing towel around his waist, this time she looked away and hid in her chair. She herd him go into a different room and close the door. When he came back out he was dressed in different clothes than what he was had been wearing earlier, still black, just less official. There was a beeping sound outside of the door and when he opened it, there was a serving droid carrying food. After the droid left and the door closed he turned around to go in the direction of the second door before she stopped him.

“Ben?” She tilted her head to she side slightly. “Did I do something wrong? You’ve just been walking around and acting like I don’t exist.” He turned to look at her.

“No—no!” He set his food down on a table so that he could go over to her and hold her, sensing she was going o cry any minute. “I just thought you were asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

“Oh, I was trying to, but you make a lot of noise and sleeping in a chair isn’t exactly the most comfortable.” She shifted again in her chair.Several moments of awkward silence followed. 

“I’ll be fine though, I’ve slept in more uncomfortable places.” 

“Are you sure?” She nodded her response as she tucked the blanket back around herself and settled into her chair trying not to look uncomfortable. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Okay.” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear before lightly placing a kiss on her forehead. “Good night, Rey.” He said as he stood up and made his way to what she assumed was his room. He turned before he went through the door to say one last thing before he disappeared into the room. 

“And thank you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to write slow burn/angst here, but it’s so damn hard... ÙwÚ
> 
> All of your comments, bookmarks, and kudos are what I live off of! Thank you so much!


	4. Never

Shortly after Ben had left, Rey fell asleep, and immediately into a dream.

_Rey is looking up at Ben, no not Ben this is Kylo Ren. There was no conflict, no light left in this mans eyes just pure unfiltered darkness. It radiated off of him in waves. The words of his master goading him on only amplifying it. Telling to kill his true enemy. He aimed the hilt of his saber directly at the center of her chest, flipped the switch to ignite it a flash of crimson shading her terrified features. Her body lie there on the floor, the last bits of life fading away. He extinguishes his blade as he steps over her body without giving his actions a second thought to bow before his master._

That is when she wakes up, crying and trembling. Within seconds Ben is there, pulling her into his arm on the floor trying to calm her down. Trying to convince her that it was alright, that it was going be okay. He waited until she stopped shaking to ask her, he needed to know if they had shared the same dream. 

“You saw the same thing I saw, didn’t you?” He whispered. “You—you saw me—“ 

“Yes…” she cut him off before he could finish, hearing it said out loud would only make it worse. The realization that they had seen the same thing sent a new wave of tears streaming down her cheeks, as well as his own. Her soaking the sleeve of his shirt,and his falling onto the top of her head and shoulder. 

“You know I would never do that, right?” “Killing you was never an option.” It was the truth. After he had been inside her head, seen what she had been through, he knew there was no way he could ever purposefully kill her. Several moments went by, and her lack of answer was response enough.

After about a half an hour like that, Reys tears had subsided and she had fallen asleep most likely having worn herself out from a combination of crying and stress. Ben had had nightmares before and he knew she did too. Normally it didn’t affect him, but something about sharing it with someone else, someone he cared about hit him in a different way as if it had stabbed at a different part of his being that wasn’t protected to make sure that he felt it. Whatever the case my be he had a feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time something like this happens. Shortly after, Ben fell asleep with Rey safely cocooned in his arms both of them in a deep dreamless sleep. 

When Rey woke up a few hours later, she half expected to be in the med bay of where ever the resistance had managed to scramble to. Everything that she thought happened hadn’t, she had left Ben and crashed on Crait while trying to escape, but she wasn’t, she was still with Ben. He was still asleep and keeping her wrapped in what could be described as a gentle death grip. Rey wasn’t complaining one bit though,tucked up next to him it was a lot warmer than it was out in the open even with a blanket. 

When Ben woke up shortly after Rey, he expected to be in his no doubt destroyed courters. Rey having left him there alone and broken like everyone else in his life had done before her. *****or maybe he had killed her like his master had commanded him to. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see the destruction brought on by his rage. There was no reason for him to believe that she had stayed instead of going back to the resistance. The fact that he was sitting on the ground, and Rey was right there with him wasn’t registering yet in his agitated state.

“Ben? Are you okay?” Hearing her voice sent a wave of relief washing over him. She had chosen him, unlike everyone else, she had chosen him. He wondered if she knew just how much that meant to him. For the first time in a long time, he was content with his life, like maybe there was still hope for him like she said. That was of course until there was an obnoxious pounding on the door, and Ben wanted nothing more than to run the blade of his saber through whoever this fool was that had disrupted him. 

The sudden unwanted wake up call had sent Rey running to the other side of the room with her back to the wall retreat further. He motioned for her to go into the room to her left, she hesitated for a moment but ultimately left, giving him one last look before the door closed. 

He walked over to the door punched in the numbers and found a terrified officer standing in front of him. 

“You better have an exceedingly good reason for disturbing me.” The poor man in front him turned paler than Hux. 

“Ye-ye-yes s-s-sir, I do... they n-n-need you on th-the co-command bridge I-I- Immediately s-sir.” He thought he would never finish that sentence. 

“What for?” 

“S-s-something about d-d-damages to the sh-sh-ship.” 

“The next time you come down here, and I suggest you that you never do, you better make sure that you have the exact reason. Is that clear?” 

“Y-y-yes sir.” Ben shut the door before the man finished. Glad to still be alive the man didn’t stick around and wait for him to change his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m thinking Rey should probably take a shower in the next chapter, you know considering she’s been rolling around in the dirt, and killing guards and so on....
> 
> It hasn’t nothing to do with me wanting Ben to come back and find Rey in one of his over sized shirts, make him feel pain... *evil laughter ensues* 
> 
> Anywayyyyyy.....
> 
> I wanna know if you think she should be asleep, or awake when he gets back.... 
> 
> And as always, thank you for your comments and kudos! They mean a lot to me!


	5. Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha don’t to break this one into two parts…

Normally when someone aggravated him, he would take it out on whoever upset him and or destroy what ever was near him. This time though, he didn’t, he let the poor terrified man leave with his life if however he bothered him again like he so boldly did, he wouldn’t be so lucky. Hopefully they would be gone before there was a next time, Rey hadn’t even been there a full day cycle but he could tell that she was getting restless and it wouldn’t be long before she tried to leave on her own. He waited until he could no longer hear foot steps to close the door and make his way over to check on Rey before he got ready to leave. When he opened the door to his room he was immediately greeted by Rey, almost smiling before she decidedly thought better of it and stopped herself. 

“Well, who was it?” She quickly asked as she walked over to him.

“A low ranking officer, most likely sent by that coward Hux, informing me that I have to go and discuss most likely the same things we went over yesterday.” He muttered rolling his eyes.

“I see, you didn’t kill this unfortunate man, did you?” 

“Why would you care? The resistance has killed plenty of them, haven’t they?” 

“Yes, but this man, as far as I can tell anyway did nothing to harm you.”

“Yes, he did actually.” 

“Oh, and what would that be?” 

“He interrupted my morning, with you.” He looked at her with something border lining on disappointment, as if the answer was completely obvious.

“Oh…” she instinctively took a step backand was preparing to make an exit when he grabbed her arm.

“No, I didn’t kill him, I did kill him, because you were here. Any other day, I would have at least done more than just threaten him with words, but something about knowing that once he left I could come and see you made me not want to for some reason…” He let go of her arm.

“Really?” She stopped her attempt to flee and took two steps back so that she could see him.

“Yes, really.” 

“I see.” She nodded as if she had just been given orders, and left without another word. He wasn’t really sure what he was expecting from her, but it definitely wasn’t that. There wasn’t time to dwell on things right now, so he went about his business getting ready. As far as Rey was concerned, she didn’t do, or say anything she just sat in her chair in front of the door.

“We’ll leave soon, I promise.” He was standing right behind her, or kneeling maybe, because his voice was right by her ear.

“I know, I wasn’t worried, I understand, I wasn’t expecting to be able to leave immediately.”

“No, I know you’re not not worried, but you are however unhappy, depressed, and anxious.”

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me.” She was trying her best to dismiss him.

“You’re not fine, I can sense it, and you haven’t even been here be full day cycle, imagine what seven would do to you or more, I don’t know how long we will have to stay here. If you want to leave, I won’t stop you, I’d rather have you gone and happy, than with me and miserable. Just tell me, so I can try to ensure that you escape safely.” His forehead was resting on the back of her head, until she turned around to face him and held his head in both of her hands.

“I’m not going anywhere Ben, I’ve made my choice, and I’m staying right here, with you. As for the rest of it, I’m fine, stop worrying about me, I’m not worth the fuss. I’ve had a lot of experience taking care of myself. Trust me, I’ll be fine.” 

“Just because you’ve never had someone there that cared about you, doesn’t mean you’re not worth worrying about. You need to try and let people in, or at least, just let me in. Please?” Her hands had long fallen from his face, and were now gladly being held by his. They stayed like that for several silent momentsbefore she finally nodded.

“Okay.” There it was again, that almost smile, it was as if she wouldn’t let herself be happy. She probably figured that something would happen and this would end and he would be one more person that let her down. 

“Thank you.” He leaned his forehead against hers, and they enjoyed that momentary oneness and understanding. 

“You should probably get going.” 

“I know, but I don’t want to…” 

“But you have to…” he leaned back sighed and got up and made his way to the door.

“Make yourself at home while I’m gone, and try not to sit in that chair ninety percent of the time, and remember, don’t open the door, no matter what. 

“Why can’t I sit here, there’s nothing better to do.” He thought about it for a minute. 

“You have permission to go through my things, and you can’t spend all day sitting there thinking, it will only make things worse. Trust me, I should know.” 

“But it’s cold.” She protested wrapping the one of the blankets the she had with her around her shoulders. He paused for a minute to think, and she thought she had won the battle.

“You can wear one of my shirts, they’re long sleeved, and will fit you too big and I can guarantee it will keep you plenty warm.” Rey was slightly taken aback by this gesture, sure she had borrowed many pieces of clothing, or rather scavenged for them, but something about him offering it to her, as if it were a totally normal occurrence felt weird and she quickly didn’t like the idea.

“I don’t know where they are.”

“In the closest.”

“What’s that?” 

“It’s where you keep your clothes.” He spoke as if that was something that she should already know.

“I just keep my clothing in a bag.” 

“Makes sense.”

“Where is this closet, and what does it look like?” 

“In my room, and it has a sliding door.” He was getting ready to punch in the code, and leave when he heard her get up and walk over front him. “What?”

“You’re going to leave without saying goodbye?” He rolled his eyes at her fake frown but ultimately played into it.

“Alright, goodbye, Rey. Please be here when I get back, and try not to break too many things.” 

“Goodbye Ben. I already told, I’m not going anywhere,I promise, but as for the other, no promises can be made there. The almost smile returned, and this time, he promised himself that he wouldn’t rest until he saw her smile. 

“Wait.”

“What?”

“Do you mind if I shower while you’re gone?” He didn’t answer for at least two minutes.

“Uh, sure, I guess not...”

“Okay.” 

“I’ll see if I can acquire some clothing for you.” 

As soon as the door closed Rey immediately let down her mental walls, and let out just how drained and anxious she was, he was right, what would happen to her if she spent several days here surrounded by so much darkness and anger. After a while she eventually got up to look for this closet clothing storage thing, and when she finally found it, she was greeted by an entirely black wardrobe, with a splash of the occasional dark gray that might as well be black too. She found a shirt that wasn’t super official looking, most likely a night shirt, and like he said, it fit her almost like a dress, and it was extremely warm and soft, and she wanted to do nothing more than to go back to her chair and go back to sleep. However she had been given permission to go through the Supreme Leaders personal belongings, and that wasn’t an opportunity she was going to pass up.

Two hours later, and she was already bored. Having gone through everything like the Jakku scavenger she was, all she found that was of any interest to her, were several smashed devices the had somehow evoked the wrath of the mighty Kylo Ren. Some of them were repairable, others she used the pieces from to fix others, and some were completely lost causes. There were still two more doors, the first one she tried was locked, and the second one lead to the ‘fresher. Why she was expecting anything less that perfectionbased on the state of the rest of the residence was beyond her. It was cold, like everywhere else. The water however, wasn’t cold, she thought that hot running water was just a myth, but then again she also thought that the force and the Jedi were myths as well, but that wasn’t true either. She untied her hair, folded her clothes and set them in a neat pile right next to the door to the shower with a towel sitting on top, and quickly stepped in to escape the sharp cold air in the room. She just stood there enjoying the warm water running over her, rinsing away the dirt, soot, and blood from her wounds. It was soothing and relaxing and she wanted to stay there all day, but unfortunately the warm water was making her tired, and even a desert dweller like her knew that falling asleep in water wasn’t the best idea.

After she had dried herself off, she opted to wear Bens shirt, it was long enough that it fit her like a dress, and if he was able to get her something clean to wear, put her beyond dirty clothes back on would ultimately defeat the purpose of her shower. She did however keep her undergarments, the shirt might be long, but it would be that long, she also reapplied her arm wraps. The rest of her clothing she took with her, and set it in a nice stack next to her chair before she resumed her typical spot in her nest of blankets and waited for Ben to return but she eventually fell asleep and was hit by another nightmare, this one worse than the one before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to those I disappointed... 😂


	6. Beautiful

When Ben spotted the thin red haired man that had been the root of this mornings unwanted visitor he turned to look at him with his typical smug expression.

“Ah, yes, Supreme Lea—“

“Never send one of your underlings to do your bidding simply because you’re to much of a coward to do something yourself. And for the well being of everyone involved, I suggest you don’t disturb me in my private  courters  ever again. Have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal.” 

“Now, What was so urgent?”

“Yes, it appears that we may have miscalculated the damages earlier. We have crews working on repairs, however it seems that it could be weeks before it is operational, and months before we are able to replace the damaged equipment.” He stated in his —— voice as if he had given him important news that he could actually do something with.

“And what am I supposed to do with this information?”

“It just seemed like something you should be informed of immediately.” 

“This has been a waste of my time, never do this again.”As he tried to leave other generals and such needed assistance with various other things, somehow they had lost the resistance, at least thirty stormtroopers had deserted as well as ten of the lower ranking staff, and two more planets have refused to join them.

Once he finally escaped, he left in an even more irritated than he had been previously and made his way to a part of the ship that he never thought he’d step foot in. Once he had arrived in the crew living area everyone he crossed paths with did one of two things, they either gave him a puzzled look, or the more popular option, they ran in a different direction. He wasn’t there for any of them, unless of course he came across the man from earlier, he was there to find clothing for Rey. After a while he found the room he was looking for, grabbed a few things and left, he was sure that news of his visit here would be passed around through ranks soon enough, but he didn’t care because he knew no one was foolish enough to question him, and anyone that was would quickly meet their demise. There was however one woman that was bold enough to say something.

“Those are for her, aren’t they? The Jedi, She here isn’t she?” She woman was smiling, and seemed to be genuinely pleased with the idea. The fact that this petite woman was daring enough to question him though was more confusing than her joyful expression.

“I suggest you stay out of matters that don’t concern you.” He briefly glanced at her not wanting to stop, and immediately realized why she so carefree, the woman, who was barely a woman at that couldn’t have been more than fifteen and most likely force sensitive, and probably had some kind of attention deficit disorder as well. Why she was here was beyond him. 

“Why is she here? Oh gods, if the they find out they’ll…” she trailed off towards the end. He stopped to turn ad look at her, her uniform indicated that she was a high ranking lieutenant which if he was right about her age was both odd and impressive.

“Who are you?” 

“I am lieutenant Cora Ames.” She answered immediately with confidence.

“And how old are you?” This time she paused before she responded.

“I am twenty one…” she looked at the ground, and obvious lie.

“No, by my guess, you’re about fifteen, possibly sixteen.”

“No, I’m not.” Silence. “I’m not sixteen, I’m not even fifteen, not yet anyways, I’m fourteen years old.” 

“And how did you know she was here?” She thought about her answer carefully.

“I don’t know, it was just a guess…”

“Well it was an extremely accurate one, I don’t know how you figured it out, or how you’re even a lieutenant at fourteen, but you cannot tell anyone that she is here, do you understand me? Because like you said, they will kill her as well as myself, and no doubt you simply for knowing.” She nodded and he immediately walked away without another word.

Once he had reached his final destination, all he wanted to do was sit down, he had be pondering whether he should tell her about her conversation with Cora, or if should just not worry her with it. When the door opened he was expecting to be attacked by Rey again, but instead Rey was asleep in her chair. He stood there by the door for several minutes taking in the scene in front of him. She had obviously found his closet and used one of his night shirts which she had chosen to wear by itself most likely after she had showered as a posed to wearing her own clothing which was in a neatly folded stack next to her. Her hair was down and draped over her shoulders and blankets, it was still slightly damp, and in need of a brushing, but she still looked beautiful. Behind the chair, there were a dozen different newly repaired devices as well as several pieces and completely smashed ones. Quietly he walked over, and knelt down in front of her, she moved, and he thought he had woken her, but she only tucked her legs up closer to herself buried her head further into her makeshift pillow. In that moment he wanted to do nothing more than kiss her so that she knew he was back, tell her how much he missed her, and hold her make sure she knew she was safe, and that he’d never let anything happen to her. Unfortunately, he knew that they weren’t at that point yet, she curled up into an even smaller ball, if that was even possible. He stood up, and decided that her time of sleeping in a chair, no doubt uncomfortably were over. He carefully picked her up, and carried her to his room, and laid her down on his bed, covered ear with two blankets. He was almost out of room when she stopped him.

“Ben?” He walked back over to her and sat on the ground next to the bed.

“Yes?”

“Can you– can you stay here?” She sounded as if she was embarrassed to ask.

He didn’t answer at first, slightly thrown off by her question, but eventually he mind finally processed what she had said.

“Of course, let me go change, and I’ll come back.” He kissed her on her forehead before he went to his closet, by the time he was done, she had already fallen back to sleep and curled herself back up into a ball. He walked over to the other side of the bed moved the blankets so that he could get to the middle of the bed, and he gently moved her next to him. As soon as she felt his arms around her she stretched out as if she felt safer now. 

“Good night Rey…” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I’m sure you guessed, Cora Will have a very important part later on…


	7. Good night, again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random short chapter, just because I can… 😉

“I know you’re awake.” 

“No I’m not. I am asleep.” The way her voice sounded indicated that her being awake was from something other than not being tired.

“If you’re asleep, why are you answering me?”

“Because I’m being polite…” 

“Look at me.” 

“I’m comfortable though.” It was true, after hours of tossing and turning, ultimately throughly waking Ben up, she had finally settled down for the most part facing away from him with her back pressed up against his chest. She found the feeling of the rising and falling of his chest to be oddly therapeutic, and even if she was awake, it was the best place to be awake at. 

“I know, so am I. The few hours of sleep I got before you turned and hit me in the face, were probably the most restful that I’ve had in quite some time. I still have something to you though.”He brushed some of her hair away from her face to see that he managed to get a semi-smile from her, even if it wasn’t a full smile it was still beautiful. “I promise we’ll leave soon, nothing is going to happen to either one of us, we will be fine. Tomorrow no matter what, I promise I’ll stay here all day if that is what you want, but for now, stop worrying and go to to sleep. Please?”

“I’m not wor–“

“Yes you are, we’re connected, remember? I can feel your distress.” 

“You need to stop doing that…” she mumbled sounding irritated.

“Then stop feeling so loudly.” 

“Fine… good night Ben.” 

“Good night, Rey…” he whispered into her ear, before placing an unbearably soft kiss on the back of her neck that only left her longing for more of them. For now though, she’d have to deal with just one. 


	8. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// past self harm/cutting…

When Ben woke up the next morning he had been expecting Rey to be next to him like she had been when they had fallen asleep for the second time. Much to his dismay however, she wasn’t. The first thought that come to him was that she left, or worse, she had left him in the throne room, and he had imagined everything. He rolled onto his side, hoping that she would be there, and a wave of relief washed over him when he saw that she was. She was laying on her back, as far on the other side of the bed as possible staring at the ceiling. He knew that look, because he had been there many times, so he knew something was wrong. 

“Rey?” He placed a hand on her arm. She immediately pulled her arm away, not aggressively, she knew he was only trying to help, but that’s not what she needed right now.

“I betrayed them, Ben. They trusted me, believed in me, were depending on me, and I’ve let them down. Even if I wasn’t able to convince Skywalker to help us, that just meant they needed me even more. But now I’ve abandoned them as well.” He watched her helplessly as tears ran down her cheek, tears that he so badly wanted to wipe away, kiss her, and tell her that everything was going to be okay. He couldn’t though, she knew she didn’t want him to do that, and he didn’t know for sure if everything  was going to be okay . She squeezed her eyes shut to stop from crying before she sat up on the edge of the bed, with her head held in hers hands.

“I am an awful human being, they probably think I’m dead, and if they don’t, they are going to try and risk sending people to try and get me. And if they do, and they die, their blood will be on my hands. Oh Ben, what have I done?” The few tears had now turned into full on sobbing, and he knew that now was the time she needed him. He sat up partially, placed a hand on her shoulder, and gently turned her around so that she could lay back down . 

After an hour of laying on his chest, his shirt was soaked with what he was pretty sure was every tear in her body. As much as he didn’t want to do this, he had to, for her sake, if he didn’t want to loose her forever, he had to put his own issues aside, and put her first. He didn’t know much about this stuff, but he knew that that was part of loving someone, putting them first, and right now he needed to do that more than ever. 

“I promise Rey, if anyone comes looking for you, I’ll make sure that they know you are safe, and do my best to make sure that they escape safely.And when we leave, if you want to track them down to tell them yourself, then we’ll do that. Okay?” 

“Ben, you don’t ha–“

“You’re right, I don’t  have to , but I  want to .” 

“Okay. I have a question.” 

“Hm?”

“Well, i haven’t eaten in I don’t know haw many hours, and…”

“Of course.” He let go of her so that he could get up, and left the room. 

Once he left! She sat up and leaned against the head of the bed, fixed her shirt that had managed to come up to her waist, she hoped he had brought back a pair of trousers, and waited. He was gone for several minutes, but when he came back, he brought the smell of food with him, and it was only then that she really felt just how famished she was. He only had enough for one person, not wanting to raise any kind of suspicion he insisted that he was fine, and that she didn’t need to share.

“Huh, I was wondering why I couldn’t find that shirt.” 

“What do you mean?” She asked in between bites.

“The shirt you’re wearing, it has a hole in it, it got singed during sparring practice, and I remember I was pretty miffed about it because it was my favorite shirt, so instead of tossing it, I used it for sleeping. I just thought that the laundry droids finally caught it and discarded it.” 

“I didn’t see a hole in it.” She looked down.

“It right here, how did you not see it?” He held up the area of fabric that was torn so that she could see it, unintentionally reveling her side from the waist up. Without thinking he ran his hand across a scar that ran horizontally just above her midsection, causing her to involuntarily flinch from the unexpected contact.

“What happened?” He continued tracing his fingers over the scar as if doing so would suddenly make it no longer exists.

“When I was about eight I think. I was climbing through one of the wrecks, looking for parts, I wasn’t very good at scavenging yet, so I often went hungry, and would get hurt a lot. But I hadn’t eaten in at least three days, and I was desperate, so, I tried scaling one of the less damaged star destroyers in search of something, anything that I could bring back. Once I had reached the top though, I lost my footing and fell severely feet, cutting and scraping myself on everything on the way down which thankfully broke my fall some. I knocked myself out when I hit the bottom, and woke up in the middle of the night, freezing, starving, and bleeding. I thought I was going to die there, part of me hoped that I would. I was there for two days, until another young woman found me, and drug me back to he place she called home. She couldn’t have been more than two years older than me, she fixed my cuts, and taught me how to survive. I owe my life to her. She managed to get out of that place, she tried to take me with her, but the people she was living with didn’t need a thin, weak thirteen year old. I told her to go, that I’d be fine thanks to her. One day, I hope that our paths will cross again so that we both know that the other made it.” 

“I’m so sorry Rey…” he pulled her closer to him, her empty tray long discarded to the floor.

“Don’t be, it helped to make me who I am. And I’m sorry as well.”

“What for?”

“Stealing you favorite shirt.” 

“Don’t be-“ he looked down at her. “It looks good on you.” He kissed the top of her head, producing another half smile. “But then again, you’d probably look good in anything.” This time he got a laugh, and it was a beautiful sound that he wanted to hear more of. 

“I highly doubt that,” 

“I don’t…” 

“Of course not.” She laughed again.

“You’re beautiful Rey.” 

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw all of my scars…” she looked away from him.

“Try me.” He watched her roll up one of her sleeves, he watched her as she undid the wraps on her arms, and revealed scars on her wrist. “Rey—“

“I told you.” 

“Oh Rey…” he held her arm gently, softly stroking her wrist with his thumb. 

“I couldn’t control the things around me, but this, this I could control. This pain only happened when I wanted it to…” he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. This morning had had so many highs and lows it was dizzying, but this one hit him the hardest. Both of them were broken, and he knew it would take a long time for them to pick up the pieces and put each other back together, and even longer for them to heal, but just like these, the scars would never go away, and that’s why they needed each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, a little back story on why I did this...
> 
> I used to know someone that I was very close to, until I realized that they weren’t someone I should be around as they got older, that used to cut, I asked them why they did, and they have me a similar explanation that Rey gave…  
> They went through something similar to her, they were abandoned by their parents, and ended up in awful foster homes where they’d basically treated them like a slave, and they as to do everything, and got next to nothing in return… 
> 
> Sooooooo… sorry…
> 
> Also, thank you for your comments and kudos, I really appreciate them! 😁🙏🏽✨


	9. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cora returns… hehehe

They weren’t asleep, they were simply enjoying the comfort of one another. Rey safely tucked in Bens arms, and Ben taking comfort in knowing that she was safe. They were at peace, their heartbeats, and breathing slowed down and in sync with each other. If one were to loos the other, especially now, now that they’d been this close, Rey knew if she lost Ben, it would inevitably push her to the darkside, and if Ben lost Rey, he’d go completely mad with grief, and he’d tear the entire galaxy apart to make everyone else feel his pain. They were connected, and loosing each other would be catastrophic, for them, and everyone else. 

Rey looked up at him, he nose lightly grazing his chin, their lips almost meeting, and finally they were looking to each others eyes, searching for something. His hand wrapping around her waist under the shirt as their noses brushed against each other, their lips slightly parted, and then— the moment was interrupted by an overly enthusiastic rhythmic knock on the door bringing them back to reality and reminding Rey where she was, and that a knock on the door was dangerous. 

“Ben?”

“It’s okay…” after a moment, it dawned on him who it was, it was Cora.

“How?” 

“I know who it is.”

“Who?”

“Someone I met yesterday, someone that might be an ally.” 

“How did they find us?”

“She’s a Force user, and a strong one at that, she just doesn’t know it. she knew who you were, and that you were here…”there was another knock. Rey thought about it for a moment 

“Well, are you going to answer the door?”

“Yes, just stay here.” He left the room, and a few moments later a young girl with auburn hair and bright green eyes was walking through the door to the bedroom.

“Hello, I’m Cora Ames, and you’re Rey! It’s so nice to meet you!” She chirped brightly with a warm smile on her face.

“Ummm? Ben?” 

“Who’s Ben?” 

“Ben?”

“I’m coming…” he stopped in the doorway looking at an extremely confused Rey. “you know, it’s rude to barge into someones living space without being invited.” 

“I know, I was just so excited!” She looked Rey up and down taking in her choice of attire, and her face suddenly when pink. “Oh, um, did I, um, interrupt something…” she backed away with an awkward smile on her face.

“Yes, you did actually, but not that… at least ways, I don’t think…” she glanced at Ben, who also turned a shade of red.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” she looked down at the ground. 

“How old are you anyway?” She had to be younger than eighteen, which made her wonder how many other children were working here.

“I’m fourteen, almost fifteen…” she mumbled without looking up.

“And why are you here?”

“To see you, and to ask for help.” She looked up with a smile on her face.

“Help? How could I possibly help you?” 

“You’re going to leave, right? I need you to take me with you…please?” 

“How do you know this?”

“I don’t know, I just know it, I guess…” she shrugged. 

Rey looked up at Ben, she already knew what her answer was, there was no way she was leaving this girl behind. The abandoned child in her needed to save this girl. Now it was left up to Ben, who knew exactly what she was thinking, and ultimately, he caved.

“Okay.” Ben responded after what felt like forever “but for now, go… please…”

“Oh thank you, thank you so much!” Cora rushed forward and hugged Rey, who couldn’t help but hug her back.

“You’re welcome.” She gave her a gentle squeeze before she let her go, and she then ran over to Ben, and hugged him as well. Rey watched as he awkwardly bent to hug her back. Rey was one thing, but a stranger, he couldn’t exactly treat the same way without it being weird. She let go, thanked them again, and left.

“That was…”

“Yeah…” 

“So?” 

“So?” 

“Okay then…” she sat back down on the bed, and then sneezed, and snuffed her nose that was running from the quick change from warm to cold. “Kriff, why does it have to be so cold?” She whined sneezing again.

“Because it outer space…”

“Yeah, but haven’t they heard of a heating system?”

“No, I think it’s just you that’s cold…” 

“Yeah, well some of us grew up in a hot desert…” 

“True…” he got back into bed, and laid down. “Come on desert scavenger of Jakku, I’ll keep you warm.” She laughed again, but didn’t hesitate to get back into the warmth of the blankets, and the warmth of his embrace. With him, she felt safe, even though he was her enemy. No, he wasn’t her enemy, not anymore, whether he wanted to admit it or not, Kylo Ren was completely obsolete. This was Ben that she felt safe with. Ben, her other half. 

“Rey?”

“Hm?”

“I–“ she looked up at him, with her captivating hazel eyes, and as soon as she did, he back down. “Never mind…” he kissed her forehead. “Good night, Rey.”

“Good night Ben, and I love you to…” she said tucking her head back under his chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im going to try my hand at drawing something p, follow me on Twitter @_SithHappens_ I feel you want to see my bad art… 😂😂
> 
> As always, thank you for your comments and kudos! They mean a lot to me! ☺️😌❤️


	10. It’s time…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they leave…  
> Oh, and Rey wears a FO uniform… 😂

Over the next few days, Ben watched as Rey and Cora got closer to each other. They were like the sister that neither of them had. Both of them grew up in similar ways, fighting for what little they got. Cora grew up on a mining planet in the outer rim, she told them that they would send the kids into the smaller tunnels, and when they’d come back out they’d be attacked, have whatever they managed to claw out of the rock taken, and they would go hungry. Or worse, some kids would get lost, or fall into a pit, and never be seen again. He enjoyed seeing them together, it was good for Rey to be around someone other than him for once, and it was everything to him to see her laughing and smiling, even if he wasn’t the reason. 

On the days that Rey was there alone she sat in her chair by the door and waited for Ben to come back. This day in particular, he returned with the brightest smile she had ever seen.

“It’s time…” it took her a moment to realize what he meant, but as soon as she did she leapt out of the chair and into his arms, just as there was a knock on the door. A few pushes of buttons later, and Cora walked in, smiling as usual.

“Are we really leaving?” 

“Yes, we just have to wait for the night cycle, when there are less people. You need to stay here, Cora. And Rey, you need to change.”

“Change?” She didn’t understand what he meant, until he held out a neatly folded uniform, complete with shoes, and a matching cap. 

“I think it would raise some suspicion if you were walking around in that.” She looked at her outfit.

“Okay, But can we take this with us? I like it too much, and I’d hate to part with it…” she was referring to the shirt that she had been wearing this whole time. 

“Of course.” He smiled.

“Okay.” She took the uniform from him and headed to his room to change.

“Let me know when you’re dressed, we’re going to have to do something about your hair.” She flashed him a ‘how dare you’ look before she disappeared behind the door.

“What is it with you two?” The curiosity was absolutely killing her at this point.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you like married or something? I’m really confused…”

“No, we’re not married… were connected in a different way…”

“Oh, so you’re not together? But you act like you are, but at the same time, you don’t…”

“It’s, complicated…”

“Oh, I’m sorry I asked, because now I’m more confused…” she walked over the the other end of the room and took something out of her pocket and started messing with it. A few seconds later, Rey emerged.

“Well, you said something about my hair…” 

Once they had privacy, Rey was finally able to speak. Truth be told, she was freaking out, what they were getting ready to do was dangerous, one person, do able, two, maybe, but three? That was a suicide mission. She’d been wanting to leave but she didn’t expect that when the moment finally came, that she’d be this terrified.

“I know you’re scared, Rey. I am to believe it or not.” He sat down next to her wrapping his arm around her. “But it’s going to be okay…”

“Promise?”

“I’m not going to promise you, Rey, because nothing is ever certain.” He told her truthfully, he didn’t want to sugarcoat things, and promise her something he couldn’t guarantee. “But I can promised out that if anyone tries to hurt you, or Cora, they will have to kill me first.” His voice took on a more protective tone, border lining on possessive as he pulled her closer to him.

“Ben?” She turned to face him.

“Hm?” 

“Can we–can we hold each other one last time, in case……” he nodded slowly, taking in the color of her eyes including the colors they changed to when the light hit the perfectly, the random freckles, the pink color of her permanently sunburnt cheeks. He took it all in, and made sure to remember every last detail. Right down to how soft her lips were when he was finally able to kiss her. The way she looked at him when he laid her on her back on the bed, and the look of shear annoyance when Cora knocked on the door, honestly, they’d forgot she was there.

“Hey, um, I don’t mean to be rude, but, um could you, um, maybe, not do that? Please? Er, Sorry…” they both looked at each other, and they couldn’t help from laughing. 

“That girl…”

“She’s definitely something… worse than Luke…”

“Oh well, maybe it was for the best that we don’t, give us something to live for…” he concluded laughing.

“Maybe…”

“And what do you mean by ‘worse than Luke’?

“I wanted to kiss you genius.” 

“Oh, I thought that was just me…” 

“Well, I guess it’s like they say, great minds think alike…” 

“Especially when they’re connected…” they both laughed turning onto their sides to face each other. 

“Oh Ben…” she started cry as she tucked herself up next to him. He held her as close as possible until they’d used up all of their extra time. He quickly fixed her hair, gabbed something’s and it was time for them to leave…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, breaking this one into two parts… 
> 
> Sorry…


	11. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is 1 impostor among us…
> 
> (I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself…) 😂

Their walk to the lift was exceedingly more stressful than the one from it, maybe it was because she didn’t have pain to distract her from the reality of what they were doing. They were really doing this, and if they got caught, that was game over. Once they were on the lift, Rey finally allowed herself to breathe while trying not to have a panic attack. Cora on the other hand, seemed as carefree as usual, which was kind of disturbing at times but also reassuring somehow. Once Rey had regained her composure, Ben turned and asked her a silent ‘are you okay’ she responded with a small nod he nodded back and turned around to face the doors. They had to interact as little as possible which was understandable, but frustrating nonetheless.

When the door opened they were face to face with a group of female officers that were happily chatting with each other until they saw Ben, no, Kylo, no, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, this man had beyond too many titles. Thy quickly move pd out of their way as they exited and then silently entered the lift after them. 

Several stressful minutes of walking later, and expecting that every time they pasted someone, they were going to arrest them, They had finally arrived at their destination. The hanger bay was surprisingly empty compared to everywhere else they’d been. They quickly and quietly made their way to one of the ships in the middle, Ben helped Cora and Rey in, But he stayed out.

“Ben?” She gave him a confused look.

“This ship is taking a supply shipment to one of our post in the outer rim, there’s someone their that I know, and trust,” he handed her the bag that he had been carrying. “There’s something in here to contact him with.”

“Ben?”

“I can’t just disappear, they’ll come looking for me, because they’ll know who actually killed Snoke.”

“What are you going to do then? Are you just sending me away to get rid of me?”

“No, Rey, I’d never do that.”

“Then don’t leave me, please…” she whispered feeling tears fall down her cheeks.

“I’m not leaving you Rey. When you meet this person, they’re going to take you off of that planet and to another one you’ll stay there, until I come, and then we go from there…” she thought about what he had said for a minute.

“How long?” 

“I don’t know… three weeks at most…” she nodded. “It will be okay Rey, I promise, I’m not going to leave you, I’ll always come back for you sweetheart, I promise.” He wiped the tears off of her cheek, and kissed her hoping that everything would turn out okay.

“Okay…”

“I love you, Rey…”

“I love you to, Ben…” he gave her one last kiss before he closed the door standing here for a moment before he walked away. He hadn’t spoken to him in years but he knew he could trust him, and that he wouldn’t go and contact his mother. There was still one more person that was part of his plan. 

“Never in my life did I think I would do anything to remotely help you.” 

“Yes, But you desire power, and this is the only way sure way for you to acquire it…”

“I’m selling you out at the first sign of trouble, I hope you are aware of that.”

“I’d be worried if you did anything but.”

“Very well, I’ll make sure that your, whatever it is you’re calling her, and her companion are delivered without harm, and that they are not questioned but beyond that, I can not be held accountable…”

“I suggest that nothing happens to them, because if something does, whether you’re accountable or not, I will make sure that you are very aware of that fact that their are worse things than death…” he hissed 

“Of course…” the two men then went their separate ways, Ben staying behind a moment longer as he watched the ship take off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they’ve been split up, but don’t worry, someone needs to fake their death… 😂
> 
> Oh, also, who do you think Bens contact is?
> 
> And as always, that you for your comments and kudos. They mean a lot to me! ☺️❤️
> 
> And one last note, chapter count has been updated, obviously 🙄   
> And new tags… 😁


	12. You’re an idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I was workin on somethin… 😁  
> Also, sorry if this is bad, I wrote it at like 3:00am

She waits for the door to close before she cries, no, that was a lie, she was already crying. She waits for the door to close before she lets it all go, and let go is exactly what she does. She doesn’t blame Cora for taking a silent position in between two crates, unable to offer any kind of help. For people that grew up like  them, feelings of comfort and condolences are not something they are affronted, needless to say, her sitting in the corner in a silent vigil was as much supports she was going to get right now. 

She spent a good majority of the trip through hyperspace curled up in a ball, with her knees hugged to her chest and her face buried somewhere behind them. The rest of it, once she had managed to stop crying, they spent going over the plan Ben had given them. 

Once the ship lands, they need to locate different clothing, so that they could ditch their uniforms, and blend in. After that, they’d have to find shelter for the night, and meet up with thisLando Calrission around noon tomorrow. After that, they’d stay another day, and then leave to a different plane.

Finding someone willing to sell them clothing was easy, it was finding somewhere to sleep that proved to be the difficult part. Eventually they resorted to finding some shelter in an ally way. Neither for them were a stranger to make-do situations, so it wasn’t hard for them to fall easily into sleep. Rey, however didn’t sleep, she dreamed, only it wasn’t a dream it was another nightmare. The kind that left her clinging to her own sleeves, crying, and try to rock herself back to sleep. When Rey was about fifteen, she taught herself how to block them out, she couldn’t get rid of them completely, but at least she could pretend like they didn’t hurt. It worked for her, her way of tucking away to good parts in a little box in her mind so that the bad couldn’t reach them. After her short time with Ben, after how he had responded to her having a nightmare, it made her forget about her way, it was so easy to forget, and that was what this nightmare was pulling at.

_“You really think is is going to come for you?” The voice hisses at her. “You are nothing to him! Foolish girl!”_

_ “That’s not true, he said I was something to him…” Rey hated the way her voice sounded even in her own ears . _

_“Not you, your power, was something to him, a weapon , and because you chose this foolishness instead, to chase some silly little fantasy–“ The voice pauses, letting its icy cold claws sink deeper into her mind. “In the end, he will leave you, just as your parents once had, because you are useless just as useless as you were then. You will always be that lost little girl crying in the desert…” The voice laughs, which sounds more like a hissing than anything else. The hideous sound causing her to tense every mussel in her body._

_“Stop this!” She demands, sounding more like a plea._

_“You only want me to stop, because you know it all to be true…” she can hear it’s evil grin in its voice._

_“Who are you?!” She screams_

_“I have no name, you can simply think of me as the truth, all I want to do is make sure you know the truth.” The voices tone changed to a more soothing one, like a parent calming their upset child._

_“You are lying!” She went running through the darkness toward the voice, but there was nothing there, just more emptiness, and then falling, into cold, suffocating darkness._

There’s a shift in the force around her, but she can’t feel it but he’s there. Sitting with his back against the wall, pulling her up to his chest, trying to wake her up. She starts kicking and hitting him in a panic, still asleep, or rather trapped in an unforgiving nightmare. All he can do is hold her, and watch helplessly feeling her mind being torn apart.

_“You have nothing, and no one,”_

_“Stop!”_

_“You grew up, alone,”_

_“Be quite!”_

_“You will grow old, alone,”_

_“Leave me be…”_

_“And you, will, die, alone!”_

_“No!” She yells through tears._

_“Yes. You’ll see, it will all come to pass, all stories end as they begin, and yours will end alone in a desert…” the presence of the voice is gone, and she wakes up._

“Rey? Rey, what happened?” 

“Leave me alone! Let me go!” She tries to pull his arms away from her.

“Rey, stop it. Why are you doing this?”

“All you wanted was my power, you never wanted me, didn’t you?” She’s no longer crying. 

“What? No, why would you think that?” 

“Stop lying!” 

“I’m not lying!” 

“Yes you are, you don’t care, no one does, even my own parents didn’t care about me! So why would you?”

“I don’t know what happened, but what ever you heard or saw, it’s not true. I’m not leaving you unless you want me to. I love you! I love  you,  not your powers…” she turns herself so that she’s facing him with her arms around his neck and her forehead resting against his.

“I’m sorry Ben,”

“Don’t apologize Rey,”

“No, Ben, I do need to apologize. I shouldn’t have listened, I sh—“ he cuts her off mid sentence by kissing her.

“We’ve both had our fair share of listening to voices in our heads.” He lowers his hands down to her waist, lightly brushing his nose against hers. “But no matter what any of them say, I’m not going to abandon you like your parents did. I promise.” He kisses her again, letting his hands wander under the fabric of her shirt, running along the soft skin on her back. 

“Ben?”

“Hm?” He barely pauses kissing her.

“I’m–I’m outside.” He stops, and flattens her shirt back down a best as he can. 

“Oh…” even though it was dark she could still see that his face was a bright red. “I forgot, it’s just as if you are right here with me…”

“I know, kind of a cruel cosmic joke, huh?” 

“Sometimes…” he kisses her again before she turns back around to lean her back against his chest. “What does it look like there?”

“Like Jakku.” She had the oddest feeling of homesickness.

“You actually miss that place?” 

“I grew up there. It’s been the only place that I’ve been for more than a few weeks. After I left, we went to a few places, but didn’t stay for more than a standard day, and then I went to Ach-To, and then to you, and now I’m here…” 

“Well, hopefully, when this is all over with, will be able to change that…” she looks up at him. “We can go somewhere with trees, and as little sand as possible, and you and me, and Core, if she chooses to can live there for the rest of the days that we spent on this plane…” 

“Just us three?” She sounded sad

“Yeah, who else would be there?” He was completely oblivious to what she was getting at.

“I don’t know…” and it left er feeling disappointed. 

“Oh, you mean… oh…” his face was definitely redder than it was earlier. “I just didn’t think you’d…” after an impossibly long silentpause, the lightbulb finally clicks. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… it’s just, I don’t know…”

“Seriously Ben?” She says mockingly with s laugh. 

“I just thought… I mean… you do?” 

“Yes, Ben. Don’t you?” She ask laughing again.

“Well, um… wow… I don’t know… I mean… you do?” His face was absolutely on fire at this point. 

“I’m a really that unattractive?” She teases laughing even more. 

“No… I just didn’t think you would want to have a family with me… that’s all…”

“Ben?”

“What?”

“You’re an idiot…” 

“Oh. I guess that’s kind of fair…” 

“Now that that’s settled, can you two be quiet, some of us,” she pointed at herself. “are trying to sleep!” They had apparently woken Cora up, and she wasn’t quite as friendly when she was tired. “How did he get here anyway?” 

“The Force…” Ben And Rey responded at the same time as if that explained everything. 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to see you two making out. Which was disgusting by the way, and I wish I could remove it from my memory.” Ben and Rey both started laughing, which earned them a lovely teenager eye roll. “Also, she’s right, you are an idiot Ren…” 

“You don’t have to call me that…” 

“Yes I do. Ben just sounds weird…” 

“Fine, then call me Solo…”

“Solo?” 

“Yes, Solo…” she just shrugged and laid back down. 

“Are you sure you want those of your own?” He joked.

“I survived the Jakku desert, I’m invincible.” 

“Yes you are sweetheart, yes you are…” they fell asleep, both aware that the other would be gone when they woke up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* historical au, cannon versish au… 🤭🤫🤫
> 
> And as always, thank you for your comments and kudos they mean the world to me… ❤️😌🥺😁🥰😍


	13. You’re an idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long… been workin on somethin… 👀🤭  
> Also, sorry if it’s bad, I wrote this at like 3:00am… 😂😁😑

She waits for the door to close before she cries, no, that was a lie, she was already crying. She waits for the door to close before she lets it all go, and let go is exactly what she does. She doesn’t blame Cora for taking a silent position in between two crates, unable to offer any kind of help. For people that grew up like  them, feelings of comfort and condolences are not something they are affronted, needless to say, her sitting in the corner in a silent vigil was as much supports she was going to get right now. 

She spent a good majority of the trip through hyperspace curled up in a ball, with her knees hugged to her chest and her face buried somewhere behind them. The rest of it, once she had managed to stop crying, they spent going over the plan Ben had given them. 

Once the ship lands, they need to locate different clothing, so that they could ditch their uniforms, and blend in. After that, they’d have to find shelter for the night, and meet up with thisLando Calrission around noon tomorrow. After that, they’d stay another day, and then leave to a different plane.

Finding someone willing to sell them clothing was easy, it was finding somewhere to sleep that proved to be the difficult part. Eventually they resorted to finding some shelter in an ally way. Neither for them were a stranger to make-do situations, so it wasn’t hard for them to fall easily into sleep. Rey, however didn’t sleep, she dreamed, only it wasn’t a dream it was another nightmare. The kind that left her clinging to her own sleeves, crying, and try to rock herself back to sleep. When Rey was about fifteen, she taught herself how to block them out, she couldn’t get rid of them completely, but at least she could pretend like they didn’t hurt. It worked for her, her way of tucking away to good parts in a little box in her mind so that the bad couldn’t reach them. After her short time with Ben, after how he had responded to her having a nightmare, it made her forget about her way, it was so easy to forget, and that was what this nightmare was pulling at.

_“You really think is is going to come for you?” The voice hisses at her. “You are nothing to him! Foolish girl!”_

_ “That’s not true, he said I was something to him…” Rey hated the way her voice sounded even in her own ears . _

_“Not you, your power, was something to him, a weapon , and because you chose this foolishness instead, to chase some silly little fantasy–“ The voice pauses, letting its icy cold claws sink deeper into her mind. “In the end, he will leave you, just as your parents once had, because you are useless just as useless as you were then. You will always be that lost little girl crying in the desert…” The voice laughs, which sounds more like a hissing than anything else. The hideous sound causing her to tense every mussel in her body._

_“Stop this!” She demands, sounding more like a plea._

_“You only want me to stop, because you know it all to be true…” she can hear it’s evil grin in its voice._

_“Who are you?!” She screams_

_“I have no name, you can simply think of me as the truth, all I want to do is make sure you know the truth.” The voices tone changed to a more soothing one, like a parent calming their upset child._

_“You are lying!” She went running through the darkness toward the voice, but there was nothing there, just more emptiness, and then falling, into cold, suffocating darkness._

_There’s a shift in the force around her, but she can’t feel it but he’s there. Sitting with his back against the wall, pulling her up to his chest, trying to wake her up. She starts kicking and hitting him in a panic, still asleep, or rather trapped in an unforgiving nightmare. All he can do is hold her, and watch helplessly feeling her mind being torn apart._

_“You have nothing, and no one,”_

_“Stop!”_

_“You grew up, alone,”_

_“Be quite!”_

_“You will grow old, alone,”_

_“Leave me be…”_

_“And you, will, die, alone!”_

_“No!” She yells through tears._

_“Yes. You’ll see, it will all come to pass, all stories end as they begin, and yours will end alone in a desert…” the presence of the voice is gone, and she wakes up._

“Rey? Rey, what happened?” 

“Leave me alone! Let me go!” She tries to pull his arms away from her.

“Rey, stop it. Why are you doing this?”

“All you wanted was my power, you never wanted me, didn’t you?” She’s no longer crying. 

“What? No, why would you think that?” 

“Stop lying!” 

“I’m not lying!” 

“Yes you are, you don’t care, no one does, even my own parents didn’t care about me! So why would you?”

“I don’t know what happened, but what ever you heard or saw, it’s not true. I’m not leaving you unless you want me to. I love you! I love  you,  not your powers…” she turns herself so that she’s facing him with her arms around his neck and her forehead resting against his.

“I’m sorry Ben,”

“Don’t apologize Rey,”

“No, Ben, I do need to apologize. I shouldn’t have listened, I sh—“ he cuts her off mid sentence by kissing her.

“We’ve both had our fair share of listening to voices in our heads.” He lowers his hands down to her waist, lightly brushing his nose against hers. “But no matter what any of them say, I’m not going to abandon you like your parents did. I promise.” He kisses her again, letting his hands wander under the fabric of her shirt, running along the soft skin on her back. 

“Ben?”

“Hm?” He barely pauses kissing her.

“I’m–I’m outside.” He stops, and flattens her shirt back down a best as he can. 

“Oh…” even though it was dark she could still see that his face was a bright red. “I forgot, it’s just as if you are right here with me…”

“I know, kind of a cruel cosmic joke, huh?” 

“Sometimes…” he kisses her again before she turns back around to lean her back against his chest. “What does it look like there?”

“Like Jakku.” She had the oddest feeling of homesickness.

“You actually miss that place?” 

“I grew up there. It’s been the only place that I’ve been for more than a few weeks. After I left, we went to a few places, but didn’t stay for more than a standard day, and then I went to Ach-To, and then to you, and now I’m here…” 

“Well, hopefully, when this is all over with, will be able to change that…” she looks up at him. “We can go somewhere with trees, and as little sand as possible, and you and me, and Core, if she chooses to can live there for the rest of the days that we spent on this plane…” 

“Just us three?” She sounded sad

“Yeah, who else would be there?” He was completely oblivious to what she was getting at.

“I don’t know…” and it left er feeling disappointed. 

“Oh, you mean… oh…” his face was definitely redder than it was earlier. “I just didn’t think you’d…” after an impossibly long silentpause, the lightbulb finally clicks. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… it’s just, I don’t know…”

“Seriously Ben?” She says mockingly with s laugh. 

“I just thought… I mean… you do?” 

“Yes, Ben. Don’t you?” She ask laughing again.

“Well, um… wow… I don’t know… I mean… you do?” His face was absolutely on fire at this point. 

“I’m a really that unattractive?” She teases laughing even more. 

“No… I just didn’t think you would want to have a family with me… that’s all…”

“Ben?”

“What?”

“You’re an idiot…” 

“Oh. I guess that’s kind of fair…” 

“Now that that’s settled, can you two be quiet, some of us,” she pointed at herself. “are trying to sleep!” They had apparently woken Cora up, and she wasn’t quite as friendly when she was tired. “How did he get here anyway?” 

“The Force…” Ben And Rey responded at the same time as if that explained everything. 

“Oh. Okay. That explains everything…”

“How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to see you two making out. Which was disgusting by the way, and I wish I could remove it from my memory.” Ben and Rey both started laughing, which earned them a lovely teenager eye roll. “Also, she’s right, you are an idiot Ren…” 

“You don’t have to call me that…” 

“Yes I do. Ben just sounds weird…” 

“Fine, then call me Solo…”

“Solo?” 

“Yes, Solo…” she just shrugged and laid back down. 

“Are you sure you want those of your own?” He joked.

“I survived the Jakku desert, I’m invincible.” 

“Yes you are sweetheart, yes you are…” they fell asleep, both aware that the other would be gone when they woke up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* historical au… and cannon vers au… 🤭🤭🤭🤫🤫🤫


	14. Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late and short update I’ve been abnormally busy lately. I’ve also been working on two other fics as well as a current WIP. So, stay posted 😌

When Rey woke up, Ben was gone just like she had suspected. It was rather late, and nearing noon. Once she woke Cora they made their way to where they were supposed to be meeting Lando just in time to see him walking out of his ship. It didn’t take a genius to know right away how Ben knew him, Lando was no doubt a smuggler just by the way his arms were raised up in a welcoming gesture and his smile. Han Solo must have known at some point. 

“So, you must be Rey.” He said shaking her hand. “It nice to finally meet you. Ben has told me virtually nothing about you. All I know is you must be pretty important to him. Those Solos and their women.” He shook his head laughing at something that she didn’t get. 

“I guess…” was all she managed to respond with.

“And you must be Cora.” Cora greeted him with her usual friendly smile ignoring his attempt to shake her hand, and going straight for a hug instead.

“It’s nice to meet you sir.” She said brightly.

“Nice to meet you as well little lady.” He turned to Rey now.

“We better get going, longer we’re here, harder it’s gonna be to leave.” She nodded, and all three of them boarded the ship. 

They managed to make it off world and into hyperspace easily which was fortunate. She didn’t know how long she’d been staring out of the window at the tunnel of hyper space when Core came in.

“You know, if you keep getting in your own head like that, you’re going to drive yourself mad…” Rey turned to look at her.

“Is it that obvious?” She nodded as she sat down next to her.

“Look, I know it’s not really my place, and I don’t know anything about either of you or you your pasts but, I do know what I’ve seen between you two, and it’s beautiful. When I see one of you when the other isn’t around, it fells cold if that makes any sense, but when you two are around each other, it’s like something changes in you two. I don’t know, maybe I’m just crazy, all I know is, you need to stop hating yourself for wanting to be happy. Who knows, maybe one day you two will come back and put an end to this stupid war all on your own. I don’t know if this makes a difference to you, I just thought I’d tell you.” 

“It does, thank you…” she gave her a slight smile followed by several moments of silence. 

“Well, I should probably get going. Especially Incase he shows up again, sorry about always getting in the way.” They both laughed.

“It’s okay, and I really appreciate what you told me.”

“You’re welcome.” Once she left, as if on que, Ben was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll try to post Tuesdays, Thursdays, and or Fridays. I feel one works better for any of you for some reason, lmk. 
> 
> As always thank you for your comments and kudos, they mean so much to me, and I love hearing from you! 
> 
> And don’t be shy, come say hi to me on Twitter @_SithHappens_


	15. Next time, I’ll kill you…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short up date, again. I’m sorry! I’ve been pretty pressed for time lately, so I do most of my writing when I can’t sleep, soooo if there’s any incoherent, sorry again! 😂

The first thing she saw was that mask, the cold, evil, dark mask. He wasn’t in his normal relaxed state thathe usually was in around her, instead he had taken on a more official stance. From what she could tell he was in a meeting, a meeting in which he had stoped mid sentence the second he saw her. It took him a moment to focus and resume his talking trying to look at Rey as little as possible. 

“You and your men had one job, one very simple job…” he said not yelling but in a tone far more menacing. “Do you remember what that job was?”

“Y-y-Yes, we were supposed Uh, to track and report sir…” came a disembodied voice. 

“And what were you not supposed to do?”

“Engage…” 

“Exactly, You’re correct. I, myself specifically told you not to engage. And what did you do?” Silence. 

“We Engaged, sir…” came the voice of a man who knew his clock was about to be stopped. Rey waited for the snap hiss sound of his saber igniting, but it never came.

“Luckily for you, I’m feeling, gracious today,” he looked at Rey briefly. “And am therefore giving you another chance. I can guarantee you, this will not happen again is that clear?”

“Y-y-yes sir! Thank you sir!”

“And the next time someone says ‘track and report, do not engage’ do exactly that…” 

“O-o-Of course sir!”

“You are dismissed, go before I change my mind.” She heard the sound of a door shutting before he even finished his sentence. “You know, I should have killed him, even if you were here…” he was talking to her now, but still looking in the direction of what she assumed was the door as he sat down.

“Why?”

“Remember that ‘low ranking officer’?” 

“The one from the first day?” 

“Yeah…” 

“What about him?”

“That was him, and somehow he managed to get promoted, put in charge of a decent sized crew and ship, sent on a track and report mission, and got ninety percent of the crew killed, destroyed and entire city, and the only part you care about is he took down an entire resistance ship. Mind you, this all took place on a planet that we were trying to get to join.Now this planet that was prepared to join us, has sympathy for the resistance. Quite honestly, from the damage report I saw, I don’t blame them… And I know you don’t care about ninety nine percent of this, ‘First Order bad’ and what have you, but, you asked so I answered…”

“Did he at least have a good reason?” She asked not trying to sound to upset. She wondered if anyone survived on the resistance ship, and who was on it. If it was anyone she knew. 

“Other than trying to show off? No…” he took his mask off. “But enough about that, how are you? Did you make it to Calrissian?” 

“Yeah, I’m on his ship right now, about a three standard hour ETA.” 

“Good,”

“What’s the deal with you and him anyway, if you don’t mind me asking that is…”

“I don’t know if anyone’s told you this, but the Falcon originally belonged to him, my fa- Han Solo, won it from him by cheating the same way he beat him the first time he tried to win it. He also helped in the rebellion against the empire, kinda stuck around and would visit every once in a while. It’s kind of a long story. But he owned me a favor, and I figured this was the best time to use it, and I also know, he won’t say anything to anyone for the right price. Not even Leia…” 

“What did he beat him at?” 

“Sabbacc… I’ll tell you the whole story some day, reenactments, voices, setting descriptions, and everything.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” He smiled. 

“I’m holding you to that Solo.” 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking abut splitting this into two works, ending this one once they get settled (ive finally settled on a planet!) then starting the next one with pure Reylo fluffy bliss! ☺️
> 
> Thoughts?


	16. Old friends, sort of…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I The. TOOk me so long, I’ve been really stressed for some reason. And the fact that I don’t know why I’m stressed is just making me more stressed 😩. That’s you for your patience while I have a pre midlife crisis. 🙃

They arrived at their destination shortly after nightfall. Cora had fallen asleep an hour before after her failed self protest to stay awake. Before she fell asleep however, she told her about a woman that was in the mines with her that had been from the planet they were going to. She had told her of the ancient petrified trees that they referred to as ‘spires’ and how they had been destroyed by a massive event. She asked Rey if she could see one up close, but Rey made no promises. Despite her own exhaustion, Rey on the other hand couldn’t sleep. The anxiety over what Ben still had to work out on his end, that and the fact the Lando had left almost immediately after they landed to meet up with Ben, was keeping her wide awake. Before he left however he asked Rey a question. 

“Is it true, is what they say about him true? Did he really kill him? Did he really kill So–“ 

“Yes…” She replied before he could finish. “I watched him do it, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.” She said keeping her focus on whatever might be outside of the window. 

“I see. Poor kid… Poor Leia…” he said shaking his head as he walked down the ramp.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Ben had gathered all of the higher ranking generals and officers in one of the conference rooms. This was the first step in his plan. 

“The reason I have brought you here is to inform you that I am making general Hux my second in command, you are all dismissed.” There were several confused whispers circling the room that he immediately silenced. “These are my orders, and I expect you to respect them!” He yelled, ultimately silencing everyone. He strode out of the room leaving everyone without another word. 

He may hate Hux, but The way he saw it is that after he left Hux would destroy the First Order from the inside out, ending the war, or at least crippling them enough that they could be taken down easily. He saw it as a way to end it without having to do it himself, and maybe in a few years he and Rey might be able to come out of hiding. Now all he had to do was die, or st least make it look like he had. That was where things got complicated. Lando had already taken Rey and Cora to Batuu meaning they were now there waiting for him. On paper his plan was simple, fake a fatal flight accident over Batuu which is currently where the star destroy that he was on is located above. It was the action of crashing, not dying, escaping from the wreckage before the ship inevitably exploded, get through black spire outpost, find Lando, and making it back to his ship that was the hard part. He had to wait at least three day cycles for the news about Hux to past through the entire ship, and then he finally put his plan in motion. 

Once on his ship he sent it into a nosedive straight to the planets surface. He sent out a distress signal which was responded to by a man asking him why he was descending so fast when there appeared to be nothing wrong with his ship.

“I’m crashing you idiot, do you think I’m doing this on purpose?” He yelled back. He couldn’t stop from smiling about the irony of it, because he was in fact doing it on purpose. 

He braced himself for impact as his ship collided with the planets surface in the carefullest way possible. He managed to escape with a few cuts, but luckily nothing fatal happened. He ran to get as far away as possible from the wreckage. Not only was it going to explode any minute, but it also wouldn’t be long before a shuttle was sent out to look for him. Several people looked at him with curious glances, but luckily no one payed him to much attention. That was one over the good things about backwater planets, everyone minded there one damn business. He tried to ask several people if they could tell him where Oga's cantina was, But all of them either spoke a language he didn’t understand, or wanted money in return for directions that would most likely be fake. So he wandered around until he finally found what he was looking for. Once inside he began looking for Lando, every once in a while someone would ask him in different words if he was the person he or she was looking for to which he responded to with  ‘No’ .The place was full of smugglers and thieves. It the kind of place he imagined a younger Han Solo or maybe even himself in a different life would be. The thought of it left a bittersweet feeling and he immediately pushed the thoughts away, now was not the time to reminisce or imagine what could have been, now was the time to find Lando and get off of this pile of rocks and dead trees. 

“Hey kid, has it really been that long that you don’t even recognize me anymore?” Ben knew that voice from anywhere, he turned around to She a man dressed in an obnoxiously bright yellow shirt, completed with an equally bright cape. And in usual Lando fashion, the galaxies fakest  ‘you can totally trust me with your money’  smile one his face, he couldn’t blame him for it, it was simply habit .  He knew for a fact that for him, it was genuine. 

“You have no idea.” He said looking at the floor. “How’s Rey?” 

“She’s fine, reminds me of someone I used to know. And so is the other one, can’t for the life of me remember her name. She reminds me of someone as well…” 

“Who?” He looked up intrigued by his comment. 

“Old friends, that are long gone I’m afraid. But we don’t have time to get into that right now, we need to get going before any of your people come looking for you.”

“Ah, Lando, that you? Been lookin for ya.” Both men turned to see an abnormally tall man standing behind them with all of his hideous yellow teeth on display. 

There was a noticeable shift in Landos demeanor, he want from the Lando he had been talking to ‘Business Man’ in two point five second. 

“Hey, Gredic. How have you been?” 

“Well now, That all depends on if you have my money or not, Calrissian.” 

“Gredic, my friend, we’ve already been over this, I’ve already payed you, I payed you double in fact.” Ben was impressed by the mans cool tone, if it had been him, the whole room would have been dead by now.

“I wanted triple Calrissian, pay up.”

“Since when?” 

“Since right now!” There little exchange was starting to gain unwanted attention from unfriendly parties. 

“okay, I see, do you think we could maybe do this at a later time? I’ve got, pre planed business to attend to.” He stopped to look at a group sitting at a table behind him before turning back to face them. 

“I want half, now!” 

“I’m afraid I don’t have that much on me. I don’t typically go traveling around with that many credits.”

“This might come as news to you, but I wasn’t born yesterday. For a man like you, that’s just pocket change.” 

“Well, I don’t have it with me right now, but I can go back to my ship an–“ 

“And who’s to say you won’t just take off. Not happening , I’m sending one of my men with you.” He turned to look at the rather nasty looking group of men assembled behind him and called the youngest one over to him. “Larack, get over here. You go with this man and make sure he gives you exactly two hundred thousand credits, you understand, and if he or anyone with him tries anything, you know what to do.” 

“Yes sir!” 

“Go!” The three of them left, and headed in the direction of Landos ship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m thinking Rey leaves the ship to explore in the next chapter. The reason will come up later on…


	17. Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope this chapter makes sense too every one… I tried…

Lando had told Rey and Cora to stay one the ship no matter what, that Batuu was not the kind of planet you wanted to just go wandering around on. Rey however had never been one to sit still for too long. Staying still on Jakku could quite literally kill you. And well some old habits die hard. She was pacing the small common area of the ship, trying calm herself. After little to no success, she did the one thing she was told not to do, she left. Once the ramp had lowered itself all the way she finally had a view of the planets surface. Just like Cora had said, the first thing she saw were the ‘spires’. Tall, dark, and ominous. She walked to the closet one to the ship, walking all the way around it, looking at the dark petrified surface and the deep lines that ran through it. She contemplated on whether she should go back and wake Cora so that she could see it first hand. Once she had decided she ran back to the ship, which wasn’t that far and woke her up. It took a few minutes, but once she had finally managed to wake her she looked at Rey as if she had committed a crime of epically unforgivable proportions specifically against her. She stood up, seeming to have forgiven Rey for her sudden intrusion on her sleep, stretched a bit and then turned to look at Rey silently saying ‘what was your reason for waking me up?’ With a stare alone. 

“You said you wanted to see one of those ‘spires’ up close didn’t you?” She nodded visibly excited about The idea. 

“Of course I do, but were not supposed to leave…” 

“There’s one only a few feet away, I was just out there, and it looks like we’re far enough away that no one knows we’re here. We just have to be quick.” She nodded again. 

“Okay.” 

Rey watched Cora stand in front of the ancient petrified tree for something like twenty minutes. She didn’t move, didn’t speak, she just stood there with her hand pressed against the tree. It was as if she was having her own private conversation with the tree. Once she had finished she turned and walked back to the ship, passingby Rey without a single word. Rey walked over to the tree one last time before returning to the ship herself. She stood there looking at the tree with new found curiosity when something shining on the ground caught her eye. She knelt down and picked up a piece of the petrified bark that had a stone of some kind, or a piece of metal fused into it. She held the item in her hand as she stood back up and looked at the tree waiting to see if it would give some sign that she wasn’t aloud to take what she had found with her. When nothing happened she turned to leave, and when she was halfway to the ship she turned to look back at the tree once more before ascending up the ramp. 

“Do trees normally talk to you, and show you things? Or have I officially gone mad?” 

“No, I’ve never had one talk to me before, but then again, I haven’t been around that many trees. Mostly just sand, which I hate by the way, gets everywhere, and it’s quite irritating as well.”

“Oh…” 

“Is that what was going on out there?”

“Yeah, it told me that it knew someone from your past. It showed me you laying on the ground starving, dehydrated, and bleeding for two days, and then it showed me someone rescuing you. It showed me her showing you the best places to scavenge, how valuable certain items were. Showing you how to defend yourself, and not take nothing from nobody. And then it showed me her leaving, and you telling her to go, because the people she was going with didn’t think you could help them. I don’t know why it showed me that, but it did, I thought you should know…” 

“Her name was Zeina it still is, if she’s alive that is… I haven’t seen her since I was thirteen. I didn’t want her to stay there because of me, I knew deep down if she left, that she’d have a better chance at some form of an actual life instead of living day to day not knowing if you’d be going hungry and for how long, eventually dying out there in the sand with no one ever knowing you existed, your bones being covered in sand until what left turns into sand itself.” Cora sat silently in the corner processing Reys very morbid statement. 

“I’m sorry. And I hope you don’t find this rude, but that was extremely dark. Like top notch nightmare material. Rey gave her a halfhearted laugh before sitting down across from her. 

“You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but I’ve been wondering, how exactly did you end up getting a position of such a high rank in the first order, at your age no less?” 

“Well, I know you and the resistance are friends and everything, and I don’t want to offend or upset you in anyway, but you have to understand where I’m coming from. Can you?” Rey nodded for her to continue. “I was brought there when I was four, and was immediately taken in by the woman that had told me about Batuu. She’d share her portions with me, and some of the other smaller children, but she told me that she was fondest of me, that I reminded her of someone from another life, someone that I later found out was her sister. When I was seven, she got sick and eventually died, death was nothing new, except it was for me. She was my Zeina.Only she didn’t leave in hopes of a better life, she died before she was even thirty. But I didn’t let it keep me down, I did like she taught me, I found the silver linings to everything asbest as I could. I knew she was no longer there, and that she was at peace, and the thought of that helped me to let go of the sadness. Sometimes pilots would stop there for whatever reason, and when they did, they’d tell the kids stories of the Resistance, the New Republic, and how they fought against the evil First Order to try and bring peace to the galaxy. I thought if that was the case, then maybe they’d come there and liberate us. Two more years, and nothing happened. The next year however, the Resistance showed up and I thought that maybe they were there to stop what the people that were keeping us there were doing. But they weren’t, they were there for resources, resource that they traded for with prisoners that they had taken from the First Order, I didn’t care who they were, or what they had done, no one deserved to be left there. Needless to say I gave up on any hope of being freed. Over the next year, I managed to befriend two of the prisoners that had been brought there, they told me that I was smart, and if I was able to convince people that I was able to hold my own, that when the First Order came they’d do what they could to try and get me a position there. That same year, the First Order showed up, they arrested and killed the criminals as well as the captives that tried to fight them. They had done what the Republic and the Resistance hadn’t, they had brought order to the planet, everyone that was willing to cooperate were taken care of and stayed there under better living conditions, and like the to officers said, they managed to get me a position, a low ranking one, but I didn’t care, I was happy to be there. I overlooked what they did to people that refused to join them, and I moved up in ranks quickly. It wasn’t until they destroyed the entire Hosian system that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there. Any other thirteen year old probably would have been able to fully grasp what had happened, but I felt it, I felt every single life disappear.I had been transferred to planet that the weapon had been built on and was there when it happened. Then the Resistance showed up, everyone that could get out did exactly that, and when I was running, I saw you, and the Supreme Leader fighting in the snow with laser swords. Naturally I didn’t stick around to see how things played out or to as you about your neat weapons. But I knew I’d see you again, and the idea both terrified me, and also felt like something to look forward to. And now that brings us to present time. So now you know my life’s story.” She said the last part smiling. 

“Wow…” was all Rey managed to get out.

“Basically…” Just then they heard the ramp lower, and more then to sets of footsteps approaching. Rey reach for the blaster Lendo had given her before he left and told Cora to move further into the ship to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connected the dots yet?
> 
> Also, I’m thinking pink, or purple. No, definitely pink… 😉


	18. That’s was, different?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okie dokie, sooo sorry for all of the short updates, and long waits, hoping to get this completed soon so that I can move on to the next work. Any whooooooo.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what’s happens to Larak can be up to you… I’d love to hear any suggestions!

She stood there with her blaster aimed at the entrance to where she and Cora were sitting. As soon as she saw Landos familiar face she lowered her weapon and waited. Then someone else walked through, someone she didn’t recognize, someone who definitely wasn’t Ben. She kept her weapon raised at the terrified stranger, ready to shoot if they so much as blinked too fast. Then she saw him, Ben. After what had felt like a life time he was there and she could finally silence some of the voices in her head that were telling her she had been tricked. She lowered her weapon no longer paying attention to the stranger that she was now running past as she threw herself into Bens arms. Rey had officially decided that it was the most comfortable place in the world. It felt like what she imagined home would feel like; safe, warm, and where she belonged.

The first thing that had gone through Bens mind when he walked onto the ship to see Rey pointing a blaster at him was that she had tricked him, that this had been some plan all along. The second she nearly knocked him to the ground to hang onto him like he was the only thing keeping her alive, those voices were quickly shut out. She was here, waiting for him, someone was actually waiting for him. That same someone was also clinging onto him for dear life as if they had been worried about something similar. They could have stayed there all day, if it weren’t for the stares directed at them, and the odd mix of emotions swirling around them. Reluctantly he pushed Rey away from him enough to see her face. He lightly brushed the pieces of hair that had fallen in her face away so he could see her face, and she was smiling, and it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in a very long time, if not ever. He turned to look at Lando, silently waiting for instructions. 

“Why don’t the two of you go find that other one while me and my friend talk for a bit? Okay kid?” Ben knew he was acting for Rey, but he knew she wasn’t buying it but she left with Ben anyway. 

“Look kid, I’ve payed your boss what we agreed on, and then some. At this point it woulda been easier to just get the thing myself!” He waited until Rey and Ben were out of earshot. “I am not paying him one more red credit.” 

“Please mister, don’t send me back to him empty handed.” 

“Look, I don’t know what to tell ya, it’s just business, if I give into him, word spreads around that I’ve gone soft, and then everyone will want more. I can’t just—“

“How dare you!” Cora came running from out of nowhere, seemingly displeased with what was taking place Rey following closely behind. “If you send him back, that man, that man will kill him! Don’t you care?” He opened his mouth to respond but was quickly cut off. “Let me guess, its nothing personal, it’s just business?” She stood there glaring at him with her arms crossed. Everyone in the room was staring at her with disbelief, with the exception of Larack who looked particularly terrified. 

“Well then miss, that was rather outta character for ya. I can tell you’re concerned, but what do you suppose I do?” 

“Well I don’t know, just don’t send him to his death!” She said before storming off in the direction she had come from. Everyone was quiet for a minute. 

“I’ll, uh, I’ll go find her, and try to talk to her…” Rey said finding the easiest out. 

“Well, kid,” Lando said turning to look at Larack. “What do ya say we play hooky? I could use the extra help around here…” he looked at him like he was insane once he realized he was completely serious. 

“I–uh–I don’t think that’s a good idea mister… he’ll come lookin for me…” 

“Stay here, or go back. It’s your choice.” He turned to head towards the front of the ship, they had already been here too long.

“I–Okay, I’ll stay.” He said with as much confidence as he could muster before following after Lando. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pink not magenta... PINK! 
> 
> things are about to come fullish circle soon… 🤭👀
> 
> And like I said before, I’m open to any suggestions. 
> 
> Sorry if it’s doesn’t make sense… 😂


	19. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the third to last chapter in this work. I hope you enjoy. 😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I a man SOOOO SORRY for such a late update. So many things have happened irl for me. The biggest is someone I had removed from my life has come back, and I’m once again trying to help them…but anyway you probably don’t want to hear about that soo…

They had been traveling for an hour, with six more to go. After this stop, there’d be traveling without help from Lando. Even though Ben trusted him, it was better for everyone involved for him to not know where they were going after. 

After Rey had found Cora, and established that she didn’t want to talk, she set out to find Ben. She found the impossibly large man trying to sleep on one of the impossiblysmall beds in the back of the ship. She walked over to him and knelt down by the side of the bed lightly tapping him on his shoulder. 

“Ben” She said softly trying not to startle him. “I need to talk to you about something.” He opened his eyes partially to look at her.

“What about?” 

“I-I don’t feel right about just dropping off the face of the galaxy. Someone, anyone needs to know that I’m okay. I don’t want people to die because they go looking for me.” She said in a rush all at once. He sat up slowly, processing her words.

“How will you tell them? Is there someone who you know you can trust?”

“I-I honestly don’t know.” She said realizing that contacting someone wasn’t a likely possibility. “There is one person…” she said suddenly becoming more interested in her hands, rather than looking at Ben. “But you’re not going to like it.” 

“Who?” 

“Your mother…” she said so quietly that he barely heard her. “We don’t have to though…” she said quickly. 

A long time in complete silence pasted between them. Rey half expected Ben to completely disappear, and if he thought about it long enough it just might happen. Finally he reached out holding her face in his hand. 

“If this is what you need to do, What  we  need to do so that we can move on, so that we can be together, than so be it. And maybe, maybe I should speak to her too…” He said stroking her cheek with his thumb. She rested her hand over his, changing her expression to a more serious one. 

“Are you sure?” She asked softly. 

“I am sure.” He kissed her gently, slowly, trying to hide the amount of panic that he knew she was able to sense. He was thankful for her not bringing it up, for just be there with him. He didn’t expect things to be easy, but this, seeing his mother. He had to do it though, for Rey if nothing else. And maybe even for his mother, so that she knew. Maybe he hadn’t come back in the way she had hoped, but maybe this was a start. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are what I thrive on! Thank you so much!   
> I have a few things in the works, a one shot that I’ll be posting today, as well as updates on my other existing fics… and maybe idk…


	20. Disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Kay… sooo, utterly, indescribably, unequivocally, sorry for my extremely erratic, unplanned updates… hopefully after the string of never ending events (I don the mean events events, I’ve been social distancing since 2005… I just don’t know what to call it…) from November till January ends on the ninth, things will get better. Also I might change the chapter count again…

After the had finished taking about what exactly they planned on doing, Rey and Ben made their way to the front of the ship to discuss their plan with Lando. Rey was more or less dragging Ben by the hand. When they arrived Lando was talking to Larack, something about payment maybe, it wasn’t really clear. They continued discussing whatever it was that they were talking about even after Rey and Ben had entered the smallconfined space. They had no intention of interrupting them, the longer they spoke, the better. It wasn’t until Lando looked up and took in the nervous expressions on both Rey and Bens faces that he paused the conversation, asking Larack to leave. 

“So, judging by your easy going demeanor and careful expressions, you’re not here with good news?” He said in a similar voice to the one he used with his… ‘business associate’. 

“Well, it not exactly news per say…” Rey started slowly.

“More of a… change of plans…” Ben finished. 

“Change of plans? How?” He said leaning back in his seat, deciding that they were most likely going to be here for a while. 

“Well… we need you to, contact someone before we make planetfall, so that they can meet us there…” Rey said, glancing at Ben to make sure he was still okay with this.

“Ah, Okay… But who exactly?” 

“Well… you see… its–“ Ben cut her off.

“My mother. We need to get in contact with my mother.” He said Louder than he meant to, immediately averting his gaze towards the exit. 

“Well then. Say, do you mind if I ask why?” 

“It just seems like the right thing to do, be before we just, you know.” She waved her hand in the air. 

“Disappear? Yeah… seems logical. It might be a bit tricky though. You see, the resistance isn’t all that easy to find. And I can imagine it won’t be easy to convince someone to let me speak to Leia directly, and I cant exactly say I have her rouge Jedi trainee and her estranged son on board. Both of which are planning on deserting the respective sides. Me, I do not judge, but you can see why other people might.”

Rey and Ben both stared at him blankly, slightly taken aback by his somewhat blunt delivery. 

“Anyway, ill help you. Maybe I’ll convince one of em to let me talk to her by offering something to their cause.” He said the last bit more to himself. “I’ll let you know if and when I get through.” He said as they left

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Everyone move, outta my way!” There were several shouts of protest at the dark haired pilots disregard for anyone else in the hallway he was running down. “I’ve got an important message for General Leia here!” 

“Dameron, What is the meaning of all this commotion!” Leia questioned with mild irritation. 

“Some of our people,” he said out o breath from running. “On Batuu, nothings been confirmed yet but, they’re saying that several First Order ships had landed near Black Spire Outpost, unconfirmed reports are saying that Kylo Ren crash landed, andthat he’s dead.” 

The room was completely silent even the droids in the room stoped beeping and chirping. The only sound was the low hum of machines. Then all at once everyone began speaking. It had barely been two weeks since the pervious Supreme Leader had been killed, leaving Kylo Ren to take his place. The main question everyone had now was ‘ who’s next?’. 

Leia was the only person who remained silent. Her son was dead, and she had to act as if she were happy about it. She looked around the room, at all of the people that were benefitting from her loss, a loss that she had to keep to herself. Her eyes eventually landed on Poe who was talking to Finn, they were just close enough for her to hear a few words of what they were saying. On one them was a name,  Rey’s.  The information they had received after Snokes death was that the Scavenger ‘ Rey’  had killed him and had been taken prisoner. As far as everyone knew, she was still alive, but Leia had a feeling based on what Chewie had told her, that the only thing standing between Rey and the rest of the First Order was her son, and if he was gone… 

Finn had been pushing her since he found out that Rey was on that ship in the hands of Kylo Ren, to let him go after her. She’d been able to convince him that it’d be suicide. Now however, she had a feeling he was preparing to do so without permission, and she was seriously considering just letting him. 

It wouldn’t be long now, before the news made it around the entire base, getting twisted and turned until the unconfirmed death of Kylo Ren turned into an epic tale. 

She leaves the room without being seen, almost. 

“General, there’s a, Lando something or other for you. Says he knows you from a while back… should I patch him through, or…” 

“Yes, Kaydel, send it my private comm…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please I thank you for you’re patience. I really appreciate it. Please if you’re reading this, say hey or something. Let me know you’re there… anyways hoping to have all of the chapters for this fic written by the ninth, maybe not posted, but hopefully written so I can post at once…


	21. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo, yes, I’m still alive, everything is over. Am dead in case anyone was wondering why the ninth, it was my birthday…

“It’s been a while Lando, I can only assume that the reason for your unexpected call is because you’ve heard the news, about…” she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. She told herself she wasn’t going to cry, not now, not yet. Crying felt like it was giving it a certain finality that she wasn’t ready to face. 

There was a moment of silence on the other end, and then. whispering? Two familiar voices that she couldn’t quite place on account of the static. Then it stopped when Lando finally spoke. 

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to,” he lied. “But I need you to meet me on Takodana, soon,and alone or with someone you trust and know wouldn’t go against you if they were to say, question you judgement over certain, things…” more whispers followed by silence. 

“What do you mean?” There was a hint of hopefulness in her voice. 

“I mean, I need you to meet me, soon.You’ll understand, later, I hope.” There were more whispers, something along the lines of  “not helping…” said by two people. The familiarity of the voices were still just out of reach. 

“Okay. I assume we’re meeting at Maze’s?” 

“Yes…” someone laughed or what she assumed was a laugh in the background, not out of humor though, more like irony. 

“Wonder how she’s going to feel about seeing you, considering you destroyed her castle and everything…” someone said in the background, barely loud enough for her to hear

the voice was clearer, the voice was, Rey’s. Who would she be talking to though, the First Order invaded Takodan. Who would she be talking to? 

“Shut it off.” It clicked. 

“Ben?” It came out as a whisper, met with silence, and then the comm cut out and she was left in silence with her thoughts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter y’all…  
> Already working on the next part! 😁


	22. Hope (from a different POV, plus more…)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? Two chapters in one day? 
> 
> Don’t mind the chapter name…

What was he doing? Why did he agree to this? What if she showed up with the entire resistance to have him arrested? Granted, they didn’t plan on telling her that he was with them. But this was Leia, and she somehow knew everything. As far as she was most likely aware though, he was dead. None of that however made this any less stressful. It took everything in him as well as Rey’s death grip on his arm to keep him from running when the comm connected. First there was static, and then, her voice. 

“It’s been a while Lando, I can only assume that the reason for your unexpected call is because you’ve heard the news, about…” the impact of hearing her voice for the first time, after all of these years hit him like a blaster bullet to the chest. She sounded older now, but it was still her. He didn’t miss the sadness in her voice either. He looked down to see Rey looking up at him concerned, and also with a mild  ‘I told you so’  look on her face. 

“Well,” he turned to look at them. “what do you want me to say?” He asked quietly. Hoping that Leia wouldn’t be able to hear them. 

Rey looked at Ben, who was obviously not to interested in answering. 

“Try to avoid that topic maybe?” She suggested.

“Yeah…” Ben added blankly, as if he were on autopilot. Hearing Leia, his mother’s voice for the first time in so many years, it was just, so many things. 

“Alright…”he turned back around. “I’m not sure what you’re referring to, but I need you to meet me on Takodan, soon,and alone or with someone you trust and know wouldn’t go against you if they were to say, question your judgement over certain, things…” 

Ben let out a bitter laugh. “Takodana? Really? That’s not where we’re supposed to be going…” 

“Ironic” Rey adds under her breath. 

“Seems like a safer bet.” Lando says shrugging 

It quite for a long moment. 

“What do you mean?” There was a hint of hopefulness in her voice. 

“I mean, I need you to meet me, soon.You’ll understand, later, I hope.” He could feel the two people behind him staring daggers into his back. 

“Not helping.” Rey and Ben say in unison. 

“Okay. I assume we’re meeting at Maze’s?” 

“My, The Force is cruel…” Ben said under his breath. 

“Wonder how she’s going to feel about seeing you, considering you destroyed her castle and everything…” Rey says, not loudly, but loud enough to be too loud. 

“Shut it off.” Ben says quickly. 

“Sorry…” Rey says sheepishly before leaving. Ben stays behind to talk with Lando. 

“Where’s Takodana?” Cora asks, suddenly appearing from seemingly no where. “Have you been? What’s it look like?” She looked at her in a way that reminded her so much of her younger self looking on in awe as someone not that much older than her scaled a crumbling Star Destroyer. 

“Where, I’m not exactly sure. But I have been, it’s actually the first time I met Ben.” She says, cringing slightly, which goes unnoticed by Cora. 

“How?” 

“He knocked me out with the force, and then kidnaped me, and brought me back to Stat Killer base to interrogate me…” she responds blankly shrugging as if such a thing were perfectly normal. 

“Oh, that’s, different…” she chooses the least offensive words. “What does it look like?” She ask, moving away from the whole  ‘my boyfriend kidnaped me when we first met’  conversation. 

“Trees, so many trees and not petrified ones, I’d never seen so much green before until that day. In some ways it a fond memory, but there are parts of it I’d rather forget, and I’m not referring to the whole kidnaping thing…” 

“What do you mean?” 

That was the day they destroyed Hosian Prime…” she trails off at the end. 

“Oh…” Cora’s usually upbeat mood seemed muted now. “Well you, Ben, and Lando were doing, whatever it was you were doing, I was talking to Larack. He said he’d heard of someone named Zeina, his boss had done business with her two years ago. Last he knew was that she was heading into the unknown regions, that was the reason for her business with them, needed a better ship.” 

“Did he have any other information than that?” 

“No. Just that she was from Jakku… that’s why I’m telling you…” she shrugs and walks off. Rey officially decides that out of the very small number of force sensitive people she’s met, Cora might just be coming in at a close second to being the most mysterious, behind Maz of course. Rey silently wondered to herself if she’d have anymore cryptic  words of wisdom for her this time. She also decides that her and Cora would probably get along capitally, and that it’d probably be best for the sake of the entire galaxy that they’re never left alone together. 


	23. I’m here anyway…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three? Doth thow eyes deceive me? 
> 
> (Btw I’ve been reading The pHantom Of Menace)

Rey had been sitting, trying to meditate for maybe an hour or two when Ben sits down in front of her, he had a far off look in his eyes, and he’d been crying by the looks of it. She’d started meditating because she’d suddenly felt anxious for no real reason. 

‘ Had I been feeling his emotions?’  She wonders to herself. 

“Ben, are you okay?” He doesn’t answer, He just continues to stare blankly at a wall next to them. “Ben?” She says a little more concerned. She reaches for one of his hands which snaps him out of whatever trance he was in long enough for him to pull her into his lap. 

“Why are you doing this? I don’t deserve this. I definitely don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve to be forgiven by Lando even more. don’t deserve love not from you, or from Leia, or from anyone else. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t even deserve to be alive right now.” He says in an emotionless tone. She can feel that inside he is breaking, tarring himself apart, and all Rey can do is stand by, unable to offer much help. 

“And yet I’m here.” She says placing her free hand on his cheek. He doesn’t move. “And you’ve been forgiven. And you are loved. And you’re still alive, right here with me.” 

“I know, cyar’ika, but that doesn’t mean I deserve it…” he says pulling her closer to him. He combs his fingers through her hair absentmindedly, trying to process everything.

“It will end foolish boy. It will end like everything else, you know it’s true…”  the thought is like ice running through him, because it’s not his, it’s one of the voices from his childhood. He pulls her even closer to himself, as if the disembodied voice in his head could physically rip her away from him right then and there. 

“It’s okay,” she tells him. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

He leans back against the wall behind him, and he and Rey eventually fall asleep like that, and stay there for the remainder of the trip. Hidden away from the galaxy, where she’s just Rey of Jakku, and he’s Ben Solo the son of Resistance hero’s Han and Leia, not  the last Jedi, the Resistances last hope  and  the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Just Rey and Ben, two lost souls that are one…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one…

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback, good or bad is appreciated! Thank you to anyone who actually reads this!


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